Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
While
some people feel that large cash expenses on celebrations are not necessary, others argue that it
Correct pronoun usage
they
s
needed for persons and Correct your spelling
are
the
society. From my perspective it is up to occasion, individual preference and so on.
On Correct article usage
apply
one
hand, it is true to say that parties, Correct article usage
the one
weddings
are just a waste of money. What I mean to say is, Correct word choice
and weddings
there
are a lot of situations when people take out loans, Correct word choice
that there
borrow
money. Eventually, they get into debt. Correct word choice
and borrow
Obviously
it is a problematic situation which we should avoid. In Add a comma
Obviously,
this
case, I would prefer cutting down on luxuries to living beyond my means.
On the other hand
, these kind
of celebrations may be very special for Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
person
, making him/her feel happy. Apart from the previous fact, holding different events Correct article usage
a person
have
become a generally accepted rule. Personally, I believe that parties areCorrect subject-verb agreement
has
Add an article
a
the
wonderful moments with your close people, Correct article usage
apply
also
to have a lot of fun.
In my point of view, celebrations are good on their own, but you need to take into account a couple of nuances:
First and foremost, financial literacy is crucial. Correct word choice
and also
For example
, in case if you want to hold a birthday party, it is likely to have some savings. Moreover
, it is better to reconsider all of the opportunity cases, then
distribute the budget Correct word choice
and then
accordingly
. Secondly
, it is very important to rely on your own desires. For instance
, my wish is to go on a big trip instead
of organizing a wedding.
In conclusion, both views have their own merits, as small money expenditure, while
making a
memories of an amazing day. Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
That is
why, I consider that it depends on situation
and personal desire.Add an article
the situation
Submitted by zerdeteacher2024 on
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, instead of just mentioning that people get into debt, you could elaborate with a real-life scenario or statistical evidence.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical transitions between ideas within paragraphs to enhance the flow of your argument. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and sticks to it. Avoid mixing multiple points in a single paragraph, which can make it harder for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You addressed both views in your essay, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main argument while acknowledging the validity of both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction that sets the stage for your discussion about the pros and cons of lavish celebrations.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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