It is commonly said that today’s children are facing huge challenges. This essay indent to discuss the causes of these pressures and give some suggestions to solve them.
Some people believe that our
children
today are facing enormous challenges
. So, they feel pressure because of that. Also
, our children
need care in
Change preposition
at
this
time more than ever. In this
essay, I will discuss this
Correct determiner usage
these
challenges
and what to do about it
.
Correct pronoun usage
them
First,
today's children
are facing a lot of challenges
and one of these is studying, children
can not fouces
more than 15 minutes Correct your spelling
spend
on
studying or reading a book because of the addiction, Change preposition
apply
every
day it becomes Correct word choice
and every
more
harder than ever because of Change the word
apply
the
social media, today's Correct article usage
apply
children
are nearly addicted to the internet and can not get out of it, it is like vortex but there are many solution
to Change to a plural noun
solutions
this
problem. For example
, trying to increase awareness to
families about Change preposition
among
this
issue and try to solve it very soon, also
, try to tell them it is bad for their mind
.
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
Furthermore
, we need to care about our children
and give them more attention and try to help them with their goals because if we do not do that maybe they will not achieve their goals and continue in life. In addition
, the family of children
need to check on their children
every day and try to control their pressure.
In conclusion, In my point of view, I think that our children
need more care than ever because of all these challenges
. So, with all the solution
I gave in Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
this
essay if we do it correctly I think we can control the pressure and let them live eaiser
than before.Correct your spelling
easier
Submitted by bcynfn159 on
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introduction and conclusion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the introduction could be more engaging to capture the reader's interest, and the conclusion could summarize the main points more strongly.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay needs improvement. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Using more transition words can help with this.
supported main points
Your main points need to be more clearly supported with relevant and specific examples. Instead of general statements, provide concrete examples that directly relate to your points.
clear comprehensive ideas
There are several grammatical errors and issues with sentence structure that detract from the clarity of your ideas. Proofreading your work and possibly getting feedback from others could help catch these issues.
complete response
You address the task with a complete response and cover the main points expected in the essay.
task relevance
The topic of challenges faced by children today is well-chosen and relevant, making your essay engaging for the reader.
supported main points
You show an awareness of the need to care for children and the impact of social media, which are important points related to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.