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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarise the inforamtion by selecting an reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarise the inforamtion by selecting an reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#floor #plan #library #years #summarise #inforamtion #features #comparisons
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The figure depicts the floor layout of Central Library 20 years ago and the new diagram shows new changes.
Overall
, many sections
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 floor
is
Verb problem
have
show examples
 completely changed from the names of parts to
shapes
Correct article usage
the shapes
show examples
 of the sections and some changes in the main hall.
To begin
 with, if we divide
this
map
 into three segments, on the left side of the
map
, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 CDs, videos,
computer
Correct word choice
and computer
show examples
 games section at the left top of the
map
 in the past in comparison with
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
show examples
 room
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in
left
Correct article usage
the left
show examples
 bottom of the diagram. The Adult fiction
books
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 changed to all reference
books
 and it is narrower than before.
According to
this
, at present, on the left top of the layout, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 Children’s fiction
books
 with
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 space
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 people go
there
Rephrase
apply
show examples
and tell some stories to their children.
Also
, there are two sofas in
this
 place. In the middle of the
map
, two tables and 16 chairs are removed to have more spacious space in
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 hall. On the right side of the
map
, the Children’s
books
 which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 at the
right
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
top of the diagram
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 replaced
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
lecture
Add an article
the lecture
show examples
 room. On the right bottom of the present figure, there is a Café,
whereas
 the was the Enquiry desk in the past.
And eventually
Correct word choice
Eventually
show examples
, in the middle, the Adult non-fiction
books
 section is changed large space with different parts
such
 as Adult fiction
books
,
Information
Correct article usage
an Information
show examples
 desk, and Self-service machines.
Submitted by brightstargalaxy on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words map, books with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 5 times.
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