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Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040
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The provided line graph gives information on the percentage of the
population
Use synonyms
 in urban areas in four different Asian countries, namely
Correct article usage
the Phillipines
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Phillipines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, Thailand,
Indonesia
Correct word choice
and Indonesia
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 from 1970 to 2020, with
Correct article usage
a prediction
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prediction
Fix the agreement mistake
predictions
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to
Change preposition
for
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next
Correct article usage
the next
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 decade from 2030 and 2040. The units are measured in the per cent. Generally speaking, it is evident that in the past Philippines city citizens comprised the highest point at 50%,
while
Linking Words
 it has
predicted
Add a missing verb
been predicted
show examples
 that
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 will reach the vertex at approximately 85% of individuals who will live in
cities
Use synonyms
. First and foremost, it is noticeable that in 1980 only half of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
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 of all countries
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 lived in metropolitan areas rather
that
Correct word choice
than
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 in suburbs. In 2000, inhabitants of Thailand and Indonesia, who lived in contemporary, urban areas plateaued at 30%,
while
Linking Words
Ohilippines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
 comprised nearly 45%.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 skyrocketed at 60% of individuals who
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lived in the
cities
Use synonyms
. With regards to the future predictions,in 2040 in all given countries the total
population
Use synonyms
 of the people, who live in urban
cities
Use synonyms
 will face an upward tendency.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Thailand and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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 will comprise 45% and 50%, respectively. Notwithstanding of downward tendency that has
been occured
Wrong verb form
occurred
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Indonesia it
has
Verb problem
is
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 predicted that it will rise to 60%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 will face
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
overwhelming
improvements
Fix the agreement mistake
improvement
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 with 80% of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
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, who live in the
cities
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, malaysia, cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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