IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The best way for governments to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport 24 hours a day, seven days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #traffic #congestion #transport #hours #seven #week
In recent years, there has been a passionate argument about
people
think
Wrong verb form
thinking
show examples
 that the
government
 should provide them with free transport because of
traffic
, I actually agree with
this
 statement because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
government
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not try to solve the roads. In
this
 essay, I will talk about the social situation and
also
 I will discuss many solutions.
First,
why do I think that we need free transportation is because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
we can not do our daily
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
 easily.
For example
, if we need to go to
supermarket
Add an article
the supermarket
a supermarket
show examples
that is
 near to us we need like 20 minutes just by car because of
traffic
.
In addition
, there are many solutions like,
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 the road bigger or
offer
Wrong verb form
offering
show examples
people
 a bicycle to make the road shorter. On the other side.
People
 like me want to go to their schools but we need to wake up early just to avoid the
traffic
, it becomes a disaster you need to do everything before the
traffic
begin
Correct subject-verb agreement
begins
show examples
 or you will need to deal with it.
Furthermore
, the
government
 should start
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
now to plan for
this
 tragedy by offering
24 hours
Correct your spelling
24-hour
 free
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
,
also
, they need to make a train to let
people
 on different vehicles. In conclusion. In my point of view, I think the
government
 should start to develop any idea to solve
this
 enormous problem or use my solutions,
also
, I actually agree that they should give us
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
24 hours a day
for
Change preposition
per
show examples
 week free transportation because they do not even try to solve
this
 huge problem.
Submitted by bcynfn159 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion which is good. However, the connection between ideas needs improvement. Try to ensure a clear logical structure by connecting concepts more fluidly.
task achievement
While you provide some points in favor of free public transport, your arguments could be more comprehensive and better supported with specific examples. Discuss alternative solutions more thoroughly.
writing quality
There are several grammatical mistakes and awkward phrases. Review grammar rules and consider practicing with simpler sentences initially. For instance, change 'we can not do our daily requirement easily' to 'we cannot complete our daily tasks easily.'
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, giving your essay a sense of completeness.
task achievement
The topic is relevant and you have attempted to provide solutions, showing a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates engagement with the topic and presents some valid concerns and solutions.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: