Every man has a right to proper healthcare. However, private hospitals nowadays are so profit-oriented that they are distracted from providing proper healthcare facilities. In your opinion, is this profit-making tendency a hindrance to proper healthcare ?

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Nowadays, healthcare providers have become more greedy and don't have ethical responsibility. All humans have the total right to getting good quality medication,

also

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better pricing tags on services in different sections of it.

To begin

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with, hospitals in general have become superb in delivering most of the parts that people need aid

Change preposition

with

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Also

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, inflation has become more and more obvious in recent years, so humans can get damaged by it easily. For that, balancing between good health services and cheap labour is quite hard for companies. Especially if there was

not a

Rephrase

show examples

government support to help reduce high prices from going up the roof.

For instance

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, morphine is in high demand all the time it needs a top-level quest point. In my opinion, institutions will improve over time with the offer and demand chain if their policy reaches the ultimate solution.

For example

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, giving a company worker ensures that can guarantee

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

him

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

the best

medicare

Capitalize word

Medicare

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over time in case of injury on the worksite.

On the other hand

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, making luxury facilities won't solve the

going

Verb problem

ongoing

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problem

nevertheless

Linking Words

make for a better healthcare system that will be beneficial to all of the working society. In conclusion, the hospital industry should be funded by all nations worldwide. Because of the crucial part that well-being plays in the community, leaders of the

nutretion

Correct your spelling

nutrition

department should not tolerate the most obvious need to structure hospital sections that include the most important doctors and nursing staff.

Also

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, radiation people who put their lives in danger,

Correct your spelling

show examples

not forget to pay them fear and fear. In the

end

Add a comma

end,

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this

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daylema

Correct your spelling

dilemma

may

be get

Change the verb form

be getting

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out of hand if it not meet with a serious solution that leads to nice results for everyone involved in

this

Linking Words

process.

abood291aFri Sep 06 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic and provides a reasonable opinion on the issue, which is good. However, there's a need to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness in the ideas presented. Some parts of the essay lack clear expression, which makes it hard to follow your argument at times. Consider working on concise and clear argumentation to enhance your task achievement.

coherence cohesion

The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, providing a logical structure. However, to attain higher cohesion, your essay would benefit from clearer and more logical transitions between ideas and paragraphs. At times, the flow of ideas is disrupted, which makes the essay less cohesive. Focus on using linking words and phrases to better connect your thoughts.

task achievement

The main points you raise are relevant but sometimes lack detailed supporting examples. For instance, when mentioning the high demand for morphine, elaborating on the impact of this on healthcare costs would strengthen your essay. Try to include more specific instances or data to back up your claims for a more compelling argument.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to sentence structure and word choice. There are some awkward expressions and grammatical errors that affect the readability of the essay. For example, phrases like "dailyema" and "radiation people" are unclear. Increasing the variety of sentence structures and ensuring accurate word use will improve coherence and readability.

task achievement

You have provided a clear stance on the topic, reflecting your opinion well.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized with an evident introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Every man has a right to proper healthcare. However, private hospitals nowadays are so profit-oriented that they are distracted from providing proper healthcare facilities. In your opinion, is this profit-making tendency a hindrance to proper healthcare ?

Your opinion

It’s generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance, music and sport and others are not. However, it’s sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sportsperson or musician. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countried is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be reqreuied to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. Do you agree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at a primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages??

There is no need to go out to see live performances (concert…) because it is better to see them on TV or computer screen. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Thesedays, problems with pollution are becoming worse, particularly in large cities. What are the reasons for this and how can this be solved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.