Every man has a right to proper healthcare. However, private hospitals nowadays are so profit-oriented that they are distracted from providing proper healthcare facilities. In your opinion, is this profit-making tendency a hindrance to proper healthcare ?
Nowadays, healthcare providers have become more greedy and don't have ethical responsibility. All humans have the total right to getting good quality medication,
also
better pricing tags on services in different sections of it.
To begin
with, hospitals in general have become superb in delivering most of the parts that people need aid to
Change preposition
with
it
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Also
, inflation has become more and more obvious in recent years, so humans can get damaged by it easily. For that, balancing between good health services and cheap labour is quite hard for companies. Especially if there was not a
government support to help reduce high prices from going up the roof. Rephrase
no
For instance
, morphine is in high demand all the time it needs a top-level quest point.
In my opinion, institutions will improve over time with the offer and demand chain if their policy reaches the ultimate solution. For example
, giving a company worker ensures that can guarantee for
Change preposition
apply
him
the best Correct pronoun usage
apply
medicare
over time in case of injury on the worksite. Capitalize word
Medicare
On the other hand
, making luxury facilities won't solve the going
problem Verb problem
ongoing
nevertheless
make for a better healthcare system that will be beneficial to all of the working society.
In conclusion, the hospital industry should be funded by all nations worldwide. Because of the crucial part that well-being plays in the community, leaders of the nutretion
department should not tolerate the most obvious need to structure hospital sections that include the most important doctors and nursing staff. Correct your spelling
nutrition
Also
, radiation people who put their lives in danger, to
not forget to pay them fear and fear. In the Correct your spelling
do
end
Add a comma
end,
this
daylema
may Correct your spelling
dilemma
be get
out of hand if it not meet with a serious solution that leads to nice results for everyone involved in Change the verb form
be getting
this
process.Submitted by abood291a on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and provides a reasonable opinion on the issue, which is good. However, there's a need to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness in the ideas presented. Some parts of the essay lack clear expression, which makes it hard to follow your argument at times. Consider working on concise and clear argumentation to enhance your task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, providing a logical structure. However, to attain higher cohesion, your essay would benefit from clearer and more logical transitions between ideas and paragraphs. At times, the flow of ideas is disrupted, which makes the essay less cohesive. Focus on using linking words and phrases to better connect your thoughts.
task achievement
The main points you raise are relevant but sometimes lack detailed supporting examples. For instance, when mentioning the high demand for morphine, elaborating on the impact of this on healthcare costs would strengthen your essay. Try to include more specific instances or data to back up your claims for a more compelling argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and word choice. There are some awkward expressions and grammatical errors that affect the readability of the essay. For example, phrases like "dailyema" and "radiation people" are unclear. Increasing the variety of sentence structures and ensuring accurate word use will improve coherence and readability.
task achievement
You have provided a clear stance on the topic, reflecting your opinion well.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with an evident introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?