Some people believe that governments should spend the money from taxes on healthcare services, while others think that this budget should be invested in other fields. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion

#people #governments #money #taxes #healthcare #services #budget #fields

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There is a heated discussion over the

government

expenditure on

healthcare

. Some believe that

healthcare

is one of the

dominate

Replace the word

dominant

show examples

subjects in people’s

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

while

others believe there are more important fields that require

government

subsidy.

This

essay claims that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should focus on the citizens’ lives and allocate adequate finance to safeguard their health. The

proactors

Correct your spelling

protectors

prosecutors

argue that the

government

should place a high priority on public medical services because the senior generations have gradually turned into the largest proportion

Change preposition

show examples

the population, which indicates the burden on medical services has surged unsubconsciously. A large increasing number of residents are facing severe difficulty in medical care. A socialist from Peking University published a statistical analysis revealing the relationship between the elderly generations and

healthcare

services, which showed that every 5 thousand elderly inhabitants

requires

Change the verb form

require

show examples

one full-equipment hospital,

otherwise

, there is a large possibility that medical

hospital

Fix the agreement mistake

hospitals

show examples

will

short

Add a missing verb

be short

show examples

for the public need.

However

, there are countless cities

fall

Correct pronoun usage

that fall

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behind

this

standard and

resistends

Correct your spelling

resist and

usually spend half of their days waiting in the Emergency room

for seeing

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to see

show examples

a doctor.

Therefore

, it is

hightime

Correct your spelling

high time

for the

government

to expand their

spendings

Fix the agreement mistake

spending

show examples

on medical care

Change preposition

show examples

increasing the medical staff or building more medical facilities. At the same, the anti-proactors argue that there are

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

other urgent fields in shortage of

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

such

as education. There has been a large number of children whose family cannot take their financial schooling burden and choose to work before entering high school.

This

phenomenon

further

exacebates

Correct your spelling

exacerbates

exacerbated

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

juvinile

Correct your spelling

juvenile

delinquency that

harm

Change the verb form

harms

show examples

the community and disturbs the normal life for those law-abiding citizens. A report from the New York Times stated that the number of

juvinile

Correct your spelling

juvenile

offenders has doubled in the past two years, which suggests that the

government

should place a high priority on crime. In conclusion,

this

essay believes that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should subsidize

Change preposition

apply

show examples

healthcare

because it is

indispendable

Correct your spelling

indispensable

for citizens and it is the

government

Change noun form

government's

show examples

duties

Fix the agreement mistake

duty

show examples

to safeguard their health and lives.

Submitted by input_chaff.0g on Sat Sep 07 2024

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task achievement

While your response addresses both views and provides relevant examples, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. Ensure your examples are well-integrated into your arguments and clearly support your points.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen the logical flow of your arguments by using clear and appropriate connectors. While the essay follows a logical structure, some sentences are overly complex and convoluted. Simplify your sentence structure for clarity.

general

Revise and edit your work to avoid minor grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. Consistently maintaining clarity and correctness will enhance your overall response.

task achievement

You have presented a balanced discussion of both views and concluded with your opinion, which is essential for task completion.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a framework that helps readers follow your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are generally well-supported with external references and examples, which strengthens your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Some people believe that governments should spend the money from taxes on healthcare services, while others think that this budget should be invested in other fields. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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21. In many parts of the world, more and more large supermarkets are opening and smaller local shops are closing down. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages for local people?

Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child’s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.