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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #development
In recent times, some people
staying
Wrong verb form
have stayed
show examples
 alone by their choice than past generations. Living alone makes them responsible,
punctual
Correct word choice
and punctual
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 and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
great
Correct pronoun usage
them great
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 experience
to tackle
Change preposition
in tackling
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 any problems. It is a positive development in their life and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 shall
in
Add a missing verb
be in
show examples
 favour of
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
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 side and give relevant examples to support my
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
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. In commencing with foremost positive
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
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, living alone makes them independent.
Peoppe
Correct your spelling
People
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 hectic schedules and for
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 education and
better
Add an article
a better
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career
, they
lived
Wrong verb form
live
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 alone which makes them responsible and supportive to do new things in their life.
Fir
Correct your spelling
For
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 instance,
india
Replace the word
the Indian
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 government
conduct
Wrong verb form
conducted
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 a survey and
tgey
Correct your spelling
they
 found
80
Correct word choice
that 80
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%
youngsters
Change preposition
of youngsters
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 lived alone to support their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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as well as
 better qualifications.
It is clear that
 away from family
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 are more independent.
On the other hand
, they gain good
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
 and better living standards. For qualification and
career
 opportunities usually graduates
lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 away from family to make their
career
 and
took
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 the family responsibilities.
These
Correct determiner usage
This
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 behaviour makes them more social and responsible and
teach
Change the verb form
teaches
show examples
 them respect for others. A study conducted by
indian
Change the capitalization
Indian
show examples
 researchers
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shows 20-35
aged
Replace the word
age
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 group of participants
took
Verb problem
made
show examples
Correct article usage
the decisions
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decisions
Fix the agreement mistake
decision
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 to stay away from home for several reasons and got more positive results in their later
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. In conclusion, living with family
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 more positive aspects like independence, responsibility and
career
 growth but negative aspects ignorable like
up
Replace the word
ups
show examples
 and
down
Replace the word
downs
show examples
 in struggle time.
Submitted by harpreetkaur47354 on

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grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. For example, replace 'some people staying alone by their choice than past generations' with 'some people choosing to live alone compared to past generations.'
development
Develop paragraphs more fully by providing more detailed explanations and examples. For instance, elaborate on why living alone makes individuals more responsible and independent.
task response
The essay clearly addresses the task by discussing whether living alone is a positive or negative development, offering arguments and examples to support the view that it is positive.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frame the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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