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Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives
It has been argued that the most important and valuable target of
science
 should be enhancing and completely changing
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
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 of individuals in society, rather than other issues that
science
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
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 to solve by implementing different techniques. Personally speaking, I wholeheartedly agree with
this
 given idea and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs. First and foremost, it is evident that
science
 includes different fields that we start immerse themselves
from
Change preposition
in from
show examples
 school days and realize that it
strongly
Add a missing verb
is strongly
show examples
 connected and centred
to
Change preposition
on
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 human beings. As
it
Add a verb
it is
it was
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 readily apparent, in recent years all
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 of Earth planet faced the vast majority of overwhelming changes
on
Change preposition
in
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 health like Covid disease, that had detrimental ramifications, like
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
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on
Change preposition
in
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 livelihood and even death. Notwithstanding panic and uncertainty, brave scientists produced vaccines which saved the vast majority of human beings and reduced the impact of
malady
Fix the agreement mistake
maladies
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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.
Additionally
, when we manufacture new products, via scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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 specialists check new
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
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 and products and produce healthy and non-violent for human beings.
Moreover
,
humans
Change noun form
humans'
human's
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overall
 well-being usually
encounter
Correct subject-verb agreement
encounters
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 detrimental conditions, which change lifespan. In
this
 situation, scientists via utilization of new, contemporary techniques create new treatments, painkillers, pills and liquids that ameliorate
condition
Add an article
the condition
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 of individuals.
Besides
, as a medical student, whose world-view is wider than ordinary people with straightforward knowledge, I can undoubtedly notice that even life-threatening issues like cancer via breakthroughs in
science
 find
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 treatments and can be even prevented.
To sum up
, the aim of
science
 is strongly connected with improving human
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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existance
Correct your spelling
existence
 in the 21st century.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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introduction conclusion present
Clear stance in the introduction, outlining the essay's main argument.
task achievement
Good use of recent examples like the Covid-19 pandemic to illustrate points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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