IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#plans #show #harbour #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The maps illustrate the developments which took place in
harbour
Add an article
the harbour
show examples
 between 2000
until
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 today.
Overall
, a comparison of the two maps reveals a complete transformation over
these
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 years.
it is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 public
beach
Fix the agreement mistake
beaches
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the same
among
Change preposition
during
show examples
 these years On the west
side
 of the harbour, to the south of
this
, the main entrance of car parking converted from
side
Add an article
a side
show examples
 road into the main road
instead
. During these years showers and toilets to the south
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 demolished. The most noticeable is that
large
Correct article usage
the large
show examples
 fishing boat was replaced by
Marine
Correct article usage
the Marine
show examples
 and
fishing
Add an article
a fishing
the fishing
show examples
 boat was established
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the north
side
. Looking
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the east, construction for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
cafes and shops to the south
side
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
lifeboat
Add an article
the lifeboat
a lifeboat
show examples
.
Castle
Correct article usage
The castle
show examples
being
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 demolished to make way for
hotel
Add an article
a hotel
the hotel
show examples
 which led to
convert
Change the verb form
converting
show examples
 the privet beach to be for hotel residents only.
Further
 development was the construction of
Correct article usage
an additionally
show examples
additionally
Change the word
additional
show examples
 dock to the north of the harbour with the same space.
Submitted by rraghad.b on

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coherence cohesion
Your response is fairly well-organized, but the structure could be improved for better clarity. Consider having a clear introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion.
task achievement
You have included many of the main features and made comparisons, but some points might be a little unclear. Try to ensure each point is clearly explained and well-supported.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear logical flow. For instance, you could describe all changes on the west side of the harbour first and then move to the east side.
task achievement
You have appropriately described the major changes that have taken place in the harbour.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical sequence in presenting the information.
task achievement
You made an effort to include specific details about the changes (e.g., the addition of a hotel, the transformation of the car parking), which enriches your description.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • harbour (or harbor)
  • docks
  • shipping lanes
  • warehouses
  • recreational areas
  • infrastructure
  • additions
  • removals
  • facilities
  • environmental sustainability
  • economic impact
  • local community
  • capacity
  • technological advancements
  • industrial shipping
  • recreational use
  • surrounding infrastructure
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