Some people think the only purpose of prison is to punish crime. Others think it has other functions. Discuss the two views and give your opinion.
Some people believe that
crime
rate will be diminished by sending Correct article usage
the crime
criminals
to prison
while
others say that there are other functions to reduce this
. This
essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the former opinion for the following reasons.
On the one hand, sending law
breaker
to jail Fix the agreement mistake
breakers
that
can reduce Correct pronoun usage
apply
crime
rates in society because prison
is the best place to
Change preposition
for
rehabilitation
centre for Add an article
a rehabilitation
the rehabilitation
criminals
to regret their mistakes. This
is the best way to punish the culprits, which
behind Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
bars, and Correct article usage
apply
as a result
, others will not do any misleading actions. For example
, Gulb countries have strict punishment who does
criminal activities Correct subject-verb agreement
do
that's
why their Correct your spelling
that is
crime
rates are lowerd
than Correct your spelling
lower
lowered
other
parts of the world. To be more precise, putting into Change preposition
in other
prison
for law breaker
that brings more peacefulness in society.
Correct your spelling
lawbreaker
On the other hand
, there are other ways to punish criminals
except sending jail. First,
culprits have to do some social activities it depends
on their Wrong verb form
depending
crime
rates in order to
Change preposition
for to
criminals
might be
regret their Verb problem
apply
sin
. Fix the agreement mistake
sins
For instance
, many western
nations follow Capitalize word
Western
fine
system for minor mistakes Correct article usage
a fine
instead
of putting
Verb problem
being
prison
. Hence
, law breakers
Correct your spelling
lawbreakers
also
have lives to live outside of the world like others.
In conclusion, although
jails can reduce crime
amounts in society, fine system and social activities are the other way
to reduce crimes. Fix the agreement mistake
ways
However
, in my opinion, prison
is the best way to punish law
breaker
.Fix the agreement mistake
breakers
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coherence cohesion
To enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, try to improve the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas. Make sure that each paragraph naturally leads to the next, using proper transition words and phrases.
task achievement
For a more comprehensive and clear response to the task, ensure that each main point is thoroughly explained and supported with relevant evidence or examples. Expand on your ideas to provide a deeper analysis.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, making it structurally sound.
task achievement
The response addresses both viewpoints as required by the prompt, providing a balanced discussion.
task achievement
Your main points are relevant to the task and you provide some specific examples to support them.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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