Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

#parents #children #toys #child

It is

ture

Correct your spelling

true

that many

children

have a

lot

of playthings. Play benefits have much more, but having a large number of

toys

has many advantages and drawbacks. I describe it below in detail. On the one hand, having

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

toys

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

lot

of benefits.

To begin

with,

children

learn to control

things

, a

children

can not control

any

Correct your spelling

anything

show examples

things

when they grow up.

Much

Fix the agreement mistake

Many

show examples

toys

might help them control other

things

. As to cognitive skills, playing

toys

can increase

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

cognitive skills.They can learn new

approach

Fix the agreement mistake

approaches

show examples

very quickly and successfully.

Finally

,many playing

things

can

create

Verb problem

make

show examples

them happier than others, so the identification of colours could be easiest for them, and in cities

live

Verb problem

apply

show examples

, they

have

Add a missing verb

do have

show examples

not enough

playground

Fix the agreement mistake

playgrounds

show examples

, so it is a very good time

passing way

Wrong verb form

pass

show examples

On the other hand

, playing

Change preposition

with more

show examples

toys

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

lot

of drawbacks.

firstly

,many

toys

contain harmful plastic,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is very unhealthy. Because we saw every child bit their

toys

gradually.

Thus

, create

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of diseases.

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Fiver,skin

dieases

Correct your spelling

diseases

, cancer,

colera

Correct your spelling

cholera

deptheries

Correct your spelling

depth series

Correct word choice

and

show examples

so on.

Finally

,many

toys

create much fun,

as a result

, they would pass time with

its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

very happily and

get

Verb problem

make

show examples

new

firends

Correct your spelling

friends

, sometimes others feel envy with him or her.

Thus

that could create

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

less

person

Replace the word

personal

show examples

interaction.

As a result

,they can not communicate with each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

in school, social parties or organisations

Correct word choice

and

show examples

so on. In conclusion,

the

Change preposition

with the

show examples

lack of

play ground

Correct your spelling

playground

show examples

in the city, parents buy more

toys

for their kids

for playing

Change preposition

to play

show examples

them. It has both advantages with drawbacks. I think benefits are likely more than disadvantages.

Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on Sat Sep 07 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task and provides an appropriate overview of the advantages and disadvantages of having a large number of toys; however, there are too many grammatical errors and unclear sentences that affect readability.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is generally structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, some ideas lack coherence due to unclear expression and grammatical inaccuracies. Try to simplify your sentence structures and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion.

supported main points

The main points are supported with examples, even though the specificity of the examples could be improved.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
One of the most controversial issues today relates to art classes which are as important to a child's development as other subjects. Personally, I strongly agree with this belief and this essay will feature some reasons explaining my view.
5
band
Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What could be the reason for this trend, and what can be dome to reverse it?
It is true that the physical health of people in many well developed countries has declined, even though health care systems has experienced a huge impovment. There are some underlying reasons and some solutions for this notion.
5
band
Some people argue the government should support the funds for arts, while others argue that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both those views and give your opinion.
According to some, money should be allocated to support artists by government, others say that the money ought to be spent for health and educational aspects. In my view, although investing on art can promote culture, I believe that it should be utilized to support educations and increase people’s health because educated society might support artists.\n\nOn the one hand, art need to be supported financially by states. There are many artists who are preconsciously talented in this field; however, they cannot illustrate their arts due to lack of support. To explain more, creating a pieces of memorable art need money and arsis usually cannot afford to providing materials related to it. Apparently, artist looking for a sponsorship to tackle the issue. For instance, there are many people who said that, if we had a sponsor, we would have created unbelievable art. Hence, money not only play an important role, but also it can assist artists to focus on their job to reach at the peak of his/...
4
band
In developed countries, more and more people buy and use their cars. Do the advantages for people of car using outweight its disadvantages on environment.
Although, many people think cars there are more drawbacks on environment , the number of many heads for people of car utilize.
5
band
Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that should focus on subjects that they are good at or that they find the most interest discuss both side and give your opinion.
Nowadays, young adults receive many kinds of subjects while learning at the schools. However, some people argue that the students only need to concentrate on subject they particularly find interesting or good at it. I would argue that teenagers should learn all subjects that are given at schools in order to know the basic knowledge that will be useful for their daily lives. They can focus on certain subjects when they take an undergraduate school.

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

Fully explain your ideas

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What could be the reason for this trend, and what can be dome to reverse it?

Some people argue the government should support the funds for arts, while others argue that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both those views and give your opinion.

In developed countries, more and more people buy and use their cars. Do the advantages for people of car using outweight its disadvantages on environment.

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that should focus on subjects that they are good at or that they find the most interest discuss both side and give your opinion.