Some people regard with those games as a harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool, others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effects on the people who played them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Nowadays it is common among young
children
and adults to play video
games
. Some people
argue that a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
video
games
have a positive effect on them, while
others say it
have a bad impact on them. Correct pronoun usage
they
This
essay will discuss both views.
People
believe that video
games
can teach people
a lot of skills
such
as solving problems and creative thinking. Although
have a various experience that helps the kids discover the different situations, they are trying to handle them. For instance
, research at Harvard University,
discovered that kids who spend two hours playing Remove the comma
apply
video
games
are more able to solve problems they are facing. Video
games
can develop mental skills
as well as
traditional education.
On the other hand
, people
who argue that electronic games
can cause damage in many ways, think about the negative side, they see it as just a waste of time and a type of addiction. For example
, many families they are refuse their kids to play video
games
which makes children
lack analytical skills
. Families who think like that deprive their children
of improvement their enhancement.
Video
games
have recent years have become popular among people
of different ages. This
essay discusses people
who accept this
phenomenon and people
who refuse it.
In my opinion, video
games
have a lot of educational tools that can develop mental skills
and help children
improve their creative thinking and be ready to tackle any issues. New research finds that children
who play video
games
are better mentally rather than children
who have not played before.Submitted by reem.b.albalawi on
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task achievement
To enhance your score, make sure to address all parts of the question thoroughly. Elaborate on both the positive and negative aspects of video games with equal weight.
task achievement
It would be beneficial to ensure that all main points are well-supported with relevant and specific examples. This helps strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs and ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider revising the conclusion to briefly summarize the main points discussed and reinforce your opinion. This will provide a stronger end to your essay.
general
Review the essay for any grammatical errors and ensure clarity in sentence structure. This can make your argument more compelling and easier to understand.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, addressing the topic of video games comprehensively.
supported main points
The points about the educational benefits of video games and the potential for improving mental skills are well-presented and supported by research.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your argument that children who play video games might develop better mental skills than those who do not is compelling and well-explained.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.