IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, big cities offer different job positions
due to
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 the great number of companies,
also
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 there are cultural activities,
night
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nightlife
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life
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, different type of transportation, more hospitals and opportunities to study. Because of that more
people
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 from
Use synonyms
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
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 are moving to the
city
Use synonyms
Linking Words
therefore
Add the comma(s)
, therefore
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, their population are decreasing.
This
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 has a negative impact both
for
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on
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 the
countryside
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 and
for
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on
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 the cities as well. As regards cities, they may collapse
due to
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 the increase
of
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in
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 population from the
countryside
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 and small towns. The presence of
people
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 looking for opportunities could generate more
people
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 living
in
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on
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 the street
hence
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increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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crime and violence. The government should have specific politics to support all the
people
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are moving to the
city
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. Respect
to
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for
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 the
countryside
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 is negative because there is less workforce in productive areas. It is true that the
city
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 allows access to different
thing
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things
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,
whereas
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 the
countryside
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 cannot,
such
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 as a better quality of
life
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, culture,
night
Correct your spelling
nightlife
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life
Use synonyms
 and better opportunities to work and to study.
However
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, the
countryside
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 is extremely necessary to cities’ economies so their
basics
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basic
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 needs and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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quality of
life
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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should be satisfied in order to prevent them to leave from their own place. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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 I would say that living in the
countryside
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 is hard. I lived there for a
while
Linking Words
 and unfortunately
due to
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 the lack of
schools
Add a comma
schools,
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 I had to move to the
city
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.
Moreover
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, if I wanted to go shopping or to go to the cinema I had to go to the
city
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.
Consequently
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, teenagers and young
people
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 prefer
leaving
Change the verb form
to leave
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 their
hometown
Fix the agreement mistake
hometowns
show examples
.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task and covers the main points. However, some arguments could be developed further with more specific examples to enhance task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
grammar vocabulary
Grammar and vocabulary are generally appropriate, but there are occasional errors that might confuse the reader. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your argument well.
supported main points
Your essay includes relevant points about the impact of rural-urban migration on both cities and the countryside.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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