You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems.You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: •Introduce yourself •Explain the situation •Say what action you would like the company to take

#camera #home #company #representative #week #•introduce #•explain #situation #•say #action

Dear Sir or Madam, Hope you are doing well. I am going to write

this

letter about an issues in

camera

that I recently bought from your store.

This

is Harpreet Kaur and I have a keen interest in capturing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pictures of animals, nature and rare animals owing to

this

purschased

Correct your spelling

purchased

a new

camera

from your store as per the recommendations of my friend. Well, when I brought it home

then

I realised that something was wrong with

this

Moreover

, when I tried to click

Add an article

the picture

a picture

show examples

picture

Change the form of the verb

pictures

show examples

of my sister

then

took

Verb problem

apply

show examples

blured

Correct your spelling

blurred

and its battery died every five minutes and I found there was

technical

Add an article

a technical

show examples

problem. It frustrated me a lot because we already planned our trip.

Additionally

, I visited your store and consulted with one of the representatives

as well as

I told the whole story about

camera

Add an article

the camera

show examples

. He promised me that they

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

repaire

Correct your spelling

repair

it free of cost within two days. I hope I will definitely get back my

camera

with a repair or return my money back. Yours faithfully, Harpreet Kaur

Submitted by mbrar9503 on Sat Sep 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, consider making your transitions between ideas smoother. For example, using transition words like 'Furthermore,' or 'Additionally,' can help your letter flow better.

task achievement

Ensure that all necessary details are included in your letter to achieve full task response. For instance, specify the exact issues with the camera more clearly and mention the date of purchase or the representative's name.

task achievement

You have clearly explained the situation and provided specific details about the problem with your camera.

task achievement

The tone of your letter is polite and suitable for a formal complaint.

coherence cohesion

The letter is generally well-structured, with a clear introduction, explanation, and a request for action.

coherence cohesion

Proper greetings and closing have been used, maintaining the formality of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

177 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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