It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

#people #risks #lives

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Taking chances for

individual’s

Correct article usage

an individual’s

show examples

personal and professional development has been seen as a crucial factor.Even though it brings more

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

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I still argue its advantages

holds

Correct subject-verb agreement

hold

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more water than disadvantages. It is fairly easy to comprehend why certain

population

Fix the agreement mistake

populations

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believe

such

Linking Words

idea

Correct article usage

an idea

show examples

as disadvantageous simply because of factors

such

Linking Words

as fear of failure and loss of stability since risk inherently

involve

Correct subject-verb agreement

involves

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uncertainty and failure can lead to financial loss.

For instance

Linking Words

,when

person

Add an article

a person

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move

Change the verb form

moves

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new

Correct article usage

a new

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city or country for jobs they are taking exposure as sometimes they might feel lonely,disconnected from culture and face challenges to adjust new environment. Meanwhile,I believe that taking

dare

Correct article usage

a dare

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helps to improve personal growth as it often

push

Change the verb form

pushes

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people out of their comfort zone and

fostering

Wrong verb form

fosters

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self discovery

Add a hyphen

self-discovery

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Moreover

Linking Words

,it

also

Linking Words

provides career advancement,it is believed that those who take chances achieve significant success.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

,it

also

Linking Words

boost

Change the verb form

boosts

show examples

individual confidence and generates

sense

Add an article

a sense

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of creativity and

innovations

Fix the agreement mistake

innovation

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which can lead to

breakthrough

Fix the agreement mistake

breakthroughs

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in both personal and professional settings.

Furthermore

Linking Words

,life satisfaction is the key element since taking

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

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can lead to

Correct article usage

a more

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fulfilling life by enabling people to chase their dreams and embrace new experiences.

To conclude

Linking Words

,taking

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

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can be a drawback

due to

Linking Words

fear of failure but I believe it is important for personal satisfaction and opportunities in career.

Submitted by nandnilekhi on Sat Sep 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

Enhance Logical Structure: Work on improving the flow of ideas to ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly. Each paragraph should connect seamlessly to the next.

task achievement

Develop Main Points: Provide more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen the main points you make. This will help in making your argument more convincing.

general

Grammar and Punctuation: Pay closer attention to punctuation, especially spacing after commas and periods, and improving sentence structures to enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

Clear Conclusion: The essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and answers the prompt.

task achievement

Addressed Both Sides: The essay successfully presents both the advantages and disadvantages of risk-taking, which is essential for a balanced discussion.

task achievement

Persuasive Argument: The essay provides a strong argument in favor of taking risks, highlighting various positive aspects such as personal growth, career advancement, and life satisfaction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

212 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more

In the last century the first man to walk on the moon said it was a great step for mankind. But in fact space travel has made little difference to most people lives today. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household takes equally (eg. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leader would be better. Do you agree or disagree?