Many people think that the behaviour of professional sportsmen/sportswomen on or off the field is not important as long as they are good players.To what extent do you agree or disagree with it ?

#people #behaviour #sportsmen #sportswomen #field #players

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Use synonyms

Sports

Change the noun form

Sport

show examples

is an important aspect

Change preposition

show examples

every nation. A large number of people say that professional sportsperson's

behaviour

Use synonyms

is not

Vital

Correct article usage

a Vital

show examples

point whether off

Use synonyms

field

Add an article

the field

show examples

or on

Use synonyms

field

Add an article

the field

show examples

as long as they are good

players

Use synonyms

. I strongly disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement, and

this

Linking Words

essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

To commence with, a good

Sports

Use synonyms

person should! maintain his

behaviour

Use synonyms

correct

Correct article usage

the correct

show examples

way even if he plays

good

Change the word

well

show examples

because many people take them as role models So they always maintain some decorum.

That is

Linking Words

to say, they are not only

sports

Use synonyms

players

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

celebrities, So Spotlight is inevitable for their professional and personal

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, Some Indian cricket

players

Use synonyms

were

accompained

Correct your spelling

accompanied

with

Change preposition

show examples

their

girlfriend

Fix the agreement mistake

girlfriends

show examples

when the

last

Linking Words

year of

ICC

Correct article usage

the ICC

show examples

match, but they did not perform well, and

as a result

Linking Words

, fans were blamed

Change preposition

show examples

their personal life was the major reason

of lost

Change preposition

for losing

show examples

the match.

In other words

Linking Words

, Professional

sports

Use synonyms

players

Use synonyms

' behaviours

are first come

Change to the active voice

first come

have first come

show examples

before their performance.

Furthermore

Linking Words

Sports

Use synonyms

player should be

discipling

Correct your spelling

disciplined

in their

both

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

lives because

sports

Use synonyms

require

discipline

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is, if a

sports

Use synonyms

Person does not be

Use synonyms

discipline

Wrong verb form

disciplined

show examples

how he plays in the

field

Use synonyms

with

discipline

Use synonyms

, so

sports

Use synonyms

and behaviours are interconnected.

For instance

Linking Words

, in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

Soccer match,

Use synonyms

players

Change noun form

players'

player's

show examples

behaviour

Use synonyms

insight the

field

Use synonyms

is more essential

besides

Linking Words

they will get a red card between

match

Fix the agreement mistake

matches

show examples

Hence

Linking Words

, sportsmen Should follow and maintain their

behaviour

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, Professional sportsmen's

behaviour

Use synonyms

is crucial

Change preposition

show examples

Add an article

the off

show examples

off

Add a hyphen

off-field

show examples

field

Use synonyms

and

Add a hyphen

on-field

show examples

field

Use synonyms

because they are

being

Verb problem

apply

show examples

role models for

normal

Correct article usage

the normal

show examples

population

Linking Words

along

Change preposition

apply

show examples

with

sports

Use synonyms

need

Correct pronoun usage

that need

show examples

Some

discipline

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

behavioural activities.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I Strongly disagree,

this

Linking Words

Professional

players

Use synonyms

behaviour

Use synonyms

is Vital as long as they are good.

Players

Use synonyms

Submitted by reanudeepan on Sun Sep 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Strengthen the use of relevant and specific examples. While there is an example given about Indian cricket players, more concrete details would further illustrate the arguments.

coherence cohesion

Improve sentence structure and grammar. There are several sentences that are unclear due to grammatical issues, especially concerning verb tense and subject-verb agreement.

coherence cohesion

Ensure consistent terminology and phrasing. Phrases like 'Professional players' behaviour is Vital as long as they are good. Players.' can be rephrased for clarity and coherence.

task achievement

Clear introduction that outlines the main argument and a conclusion that summarizes the points effectively.

coherence cohesion

Logical progression of ideas with a clear structure for each paragraph.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

role model
visibility
influence
reputation
sponsorship deals
financial stability
disciplinary actions
teamwork
discipline
resilience
integrity
positively influence
undermine

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people believe that professional workers such as Doctors and Teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent Do you Agree or Disagree?
Some debate about the difference in wages between professional workers and sports and entertainment personalities. I described my views in the following paragraphs.
4.5
band
People all in modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologist’s claim that parents and other society members often set a bad example. Discuss the causes & some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern-day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse.
Using drug trendings are a new normal norm among adolesons whether are illage or legal allowances. Some sociologist believe that parents and others label using drug as a chain of negatives. This essay will show the media influences as the reason and educate the drug awareness in early schools.
5
band
some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
Some people argue that having senior managment position is the top-notch thing with better remuneration packages compared to other peers in the company. I agree with this noble idea , since that brings financial benifits and many more opportunities.
5
band
Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
An argument appeared among people that phones are not allowed to be used by children during the school day but others believe the opposite. Mobile gadget during the school day can distract children from studying, but on the other hand, phones can be helpful for them to study with many advanced features. I believe the use of gadget by children in school day should be ok as long as parental control exists.
5
band
Some people think that the internet makes a person more sociable, while others think it makes a person less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people argue that the internet makes people more sociable, while others do not think so. Instead, it makes people less sociable. On one side, people can socialize with many humans around the world without border restrictions. On the other hand, it is totally true that internet have made people withdrawn themselves from society. In my opinion, I agree with the second statement.

Many people think that the behaviour of professional sportsmen/sportswomen on or off the field is not important as long as they are good players.To what extent do you agree or disagree with it ?

Some people believe that professional workers such as Doctors and Teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent Do you Agree or Disagree?

some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the internet makes a person more sociable, while others think it makes a person less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.