Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Advertisement
is assumed as one of the most important
aspect
Change to a plural noun
aspects
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of business,
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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end goal is to increase
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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sales.
However
, the
over
Correct word choice
apply
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advertisement
has led
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
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to
have
Verb problem
pay
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less attention to it,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others feel it
is encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
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them more. In
this
essay, I will explain both views and why I think it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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failed to achieve its end goal. Those
people
who
feels
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feel
show examples
encouraged think that
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
have
an interesting
Remove the article
interesting information
a piece of interesting information
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information
. The way
of
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apply
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the
advertisement
deliver
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delivers
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the message is
succeed
Verb problem
apply
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to make the viewers get their own motivation or maybe the urgency.
For example
, nowadays, many local businesses hold a launching event to promote their new edition. Even more than that, there will
some
Add a missing verb
be some
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terms and conditions that might allow the customer to get
special
Correct article usage
a special
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launch price. By getting
this
information
, the
people
tend to feel they are in a rush to get that chance.
Finally
, the
advertisement
is kept
on
Change preposition
in
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the viewers
mind
Correct subject-verb agreement
minds
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. Meanwhile, the others thought that ads
does
Change the verb form
do
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not motivate them enough. They
does
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do
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not get the messages because they might
found
Wrong verb form
find
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it not attractive or just not easy to understand. Some
people
could
get
Verb problem
have
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miss understanding
Correct your spelling
a misunderstanding
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in interpreting the
information
. Despite the messages, they
also
do
Wrong verb form
did
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not need the product by
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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time they saw it. So whatever the
information
given, they will not
put their
Verb problem
pay
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attention. In my view, I see that sometimes advertisements push
people
to be more consumptive. I believe that
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
of
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
and whatever the unique selling point provided are not enough
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
us buy that product. It
also
applies when we actually need that product. In conclusion, the perfect timing for both, attractiveness and needs, are the most logical reason to buy something. I believe the number of how much ads that businesses do, does not really
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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to
Change preposition
apply
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their sales.
Submitted by rasyidrahma13 on

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clarity
Try to improve the clarity of your ideas. At times, the sentences are a bit awkward, and the meaning is not always clear. Focus on writing clearer and more concise sentences.
coherence
While you have an introduction and conclusion, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use connecting phrases and transition words to enhance the overall flow of your essay.
examples
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your points. For instance, mention particular ads or campaigns that have either succeeded or failed to engage people.
task response
You have presented both viewpoints and included your opinion, which demonstrates an understanding of the essay requirement.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and provide a clear overview and summary of your argument.
organization
The essay is logically organized, with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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