Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Advertisement
is assumed as one of the most important
aspect
Change to a plural noun
aspects
show examples
of business,
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
end goal is to increase
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
sales.
However
, the
over
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
advertisement
has led
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
to
have
Verb problem
pay
show examples
less attention to it,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others feel it
is encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
them more. In
this
essay, I will explain both views and why I think it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
failed to achieve its end goal. Those
people
who
feels
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
encouraged think that
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
have
an interesting
Remove the article
interesting information
a piece of interesting information
show examples
information
. The way
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
advertisement
deliver
Change the verb form
delivers
show examples
the message is
succeed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to make the viewers get their own motivation or maybe the urgency.
For example
, nowadays, many local businesses hold a launching event to promote their new edition. Even more than that, there will
some
Add a missing verb
be some
show examples
terms and conditions that might allow the customer to get
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
launch price. By getting
this
information
, the
people
tend to feel they are in a rush to get that chance.
Finally
, the
advertisement
is kept
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the viewers
mind
Correct subject-verb agreement
minds
show examples
. Meanwhile, the others thought that ads
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not motivate them enough. They
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not get the messages because they might
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
it not attractive or just not easy to understand. Some
people
could
get
Verb problem
have
show examples
miss understanding
Correct your spelling
a misunderstanding
show examples
in interpreting the
information
. Despite the messages, they
also
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
not need the product by
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
time they saw it. So whatever the
information
given, they will not
put their
Verb problem
pay
show examples
attention. In my view, I see that sometimes advertisements push
people
to be more consumptive. I believe that
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
of
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
and whatever the unique selling point provided are not enough
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
us buy that product. It
also
applies when we actually need that product. In conclusion, the perfect timing for both, attractiveness and needs, are the most logical reason to buy something. I believe the number of how much ads that businesses do, does not really
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their sales.
Submitted by rasyidrahma13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clarity
Try to improve the clarity of your ideas. At times, the sentences are a bit awkward, and the meaning is not always clear. Focus on writing clearer and more concise sentences.
coherence
While you have an introduction and conclusion, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use connecting phrases and transition words to enhance the overall flow of your essay.
examples
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your points. For instance, mention particular ads or campaigns that have either succeeded or failed to engage people.
task response
You have presented both viewpoints and included your opinion, which demonstrates an understanding of the essay requirement.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and provide a clear overview and summary of your argument.
organization
The essay is logically organized, with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
Look at other essays: