The private motor vehicle has greatly improved individual freedom of movement. Moreover, it has become a status symbol. Its use, though, has impacted negatively on city centres as a whole. What are some serious problems brought about by private motor vehicle use? How can its use be reduced? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#motor #vehicle #freedom #movement #status #symbol #city #centres

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Nowadays the

motor

industry has raised a lot, giving people the chance to improve their freedom of movement, but

this

also

provided another problem, by creating a negative impact in our cities. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

we will discuss what are some of

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

problems and how can we reduce

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

issues.

Firstly

, the use of private

motor

vehicles has brought some issues to our society.

This

due to

the fact that most of the city centres are waterlogged with cars and

motorcicles

Correct your spelling

motorcycles

creating a contaminated space, by pollution and noise in our

citys

Correct your spelling

cities

For example

, in China, there are many hours a day when you can not move by car, because the streets

are fill

Change the verb form

are filled

show examples

with

motor

vehicles.

This

massive amount of cars and

motorcicles

Correct your spelling

motorcycles

has brought a variety of issues to our community.

Otherwise

this

problem can be solved in a variety of

wais

Correct your spelling

ways

show examples

. By investing more money in public transport systems, the powers that be would be able to

aboid

Correct your spelling

avoid

this problems

Change the determiner

this problem

these problems

show examples

such

as noise and pollution. As the way I see it,

this

could

also

help to reduce the time needed to move

arround

Correct your spelling

around

, by reducing the traffic.

To conclude

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, I will say that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

private

motor

vehicles

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

created huge problems that

now a days

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

are difficult to deal with,

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

in our city centres.

Submitted by pabloenriquevicente on Sun Sep 08 2024

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task response

Make sure to thoroughly address both parts of the question - the problems caused by private motor vehicles and the ways to reduce their use - in equal measure.

task response

Support your points with relevant examples and evidence. For instance, mentioning a specific public transport initiative that has successfully reduced traffic can strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical structure of your essay by clearly outlining the main points in each paragraph and ensuring each paragraph focuses on one main idea.

coherence cohesion

Work on connecting your ideas more smoothly. Linking words and phrases help guide the reader through your argument.

language use

Pay attention to language accuracy, including spelling and grammar. Correcting errors such as “waterlogged” (which should be “congested”) and “wais” (which should be “ways”) would enhance clarity.

structure

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame the response.

content

The main idea that private motor vehicles create problems such as pollution and noise in city centers is correctly identified and discussed.

task response

There is some attempt to provide an example (China) to support the points made, which helps in making the response more concrete.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

5.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

5.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

221 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

City traffic congestion
pollution
respiratory illnesses
sedentary lifestyles
cardiovascular diseases
infrastructure
traffic bottlenecks
urban space
safety concerns
economic vulnerability
oil dependency
public transportation
urban planning
walkability
cycling paths
car-sharing
ride-sharing
tax incentives
emissions
sustainable transport
awareness campaigns

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