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Band 4

In the last decade, there has been a great increase in global air travel. What do you think are the reasons for this and do you think it is a good thing?

#decade #air #travel
Recently, the willingness of people to use
airplanes
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aeroplanes
show examples
 has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased.
Although
 transporting
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 planes has advantages
such
 as fast speed and
accesibilty
Correct your spelling
accessibility
,
however
, I believe
this
 leads to severe environmental
damages
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damage
show examples
, including air pollution and global warming. Nowadays,
human-beings
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human beings
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 tend to travel by
airplanes
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aeroplanes
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 rather than other
transporation
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transportation
 vehicles as they can avoid
misallocationing
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misallocation
misallocations
 time and are
accesible
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accessible
. Plane tickets can be purchased by
smart phone
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smartphone
show examples
 applications at any desired time with special offers and
afordable
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affordable
 prices.
In addition
, if one wants to travel long distances as travelling across continents, it can be done in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 hours.
For example
, many immigrants' close families and friends are able to visit them in a few hours as opposed to a century ago which would take months to travel that distance with ships and vehicles. Despite
this
, the popularity has caused serious
damages
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damage
show examples
 to the earth. A plethora of
of
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apply
show examples
flights
take
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takes
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 off every day which burns a significant amount of
fussil
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fossil
fuels
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fuel
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.
As a result
,
this
 phenomenon pollutes the environment and
intensify
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intensifies
show examples
 the global warming disaster.
For instance
, the
critisims
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criticisms
criticism
 against Taylor Swift, a famous young pop star,
has
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have
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 been raised by
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 activists
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 of the excessive usage of her private jet.
This
over consumption
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overconsumption
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 has
lead
Wrong verb form
led
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 to a considerable amount of fuels' toxic emissions.
While
 using airplanes as
primary
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the primary
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transportaion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 way could be beneficial in many aspects, especially less time consumption and easier to access, the destruction
this
 method
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 for our planet can't be underestimated.
Submitted by golnaz.zv on

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task achievement
Try to address both parts of the task more evenly. While you did mention the reasons for the increase in air travel, a more balanced discussion regarding the positive or negative aspects would provide a stronger response.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some ideas could be developed more clearly. Ensure that each paragraph has one main idea which is clearly supported with examples or reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Consider working on grammar and vocabulary to improve clarity. Reduce minor mistakes such as typos, missing articles, and verb forms.
introduction conclusion present
Good structure and clear introduction.
relevant specific examples
Relevant example provided about Taylor Swift and environmental impact.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Disposable income
  • Aviation technology
  • Efficient
  • Proliferation
  • Budget airlines
  • Globalization
  • Tourism
  • Social media
  • Promotional activities
  • Economic development
  • Cultural exchange
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon emissions
  • Climate change
  • Over-tourism
  • Local resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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