Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others,however,say that this would have little effect on public healthand that other measure are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #healthand #measure

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Health

Use synonyms

is wealth. Some

people

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believe that increasing the number of

sports

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facilities is the appropriate method to develop public well-being

while

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

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say that

this

Linking Words

may

causes

Change the verb form

cause

show examples

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

effect on public

health

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and there are other methods

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

necessary.

This

Linking Words

essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons. On the one hand, public

health

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will be improved by increasing the

sports

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facilities because

sports

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only can help to

being

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show examples

fit

besides

Linking Words

individuals like to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

live in

sedentary

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a sedentary

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lifestyle.

This

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is,

many

Correct word choice

because many

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sports

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require body fitness, so

people

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have to play consistently in different

sports

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, and

as a result

Linking Words

, their

health

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will be improved and they stay far away from any diseases.

For example

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, in China, there are numerous

sports

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help

Correct pronoun usage

that help

show examples

to mankind

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

fit even

their

Correct word choice

though their

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sickness ratio

also

Linking Words

least

Fix the agreement mistake

lower

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than other nations,

due to

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extending

sports

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amenities.

In contrast

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, all

people

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cannot do

sports

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because of their body conditions, so there are other ways to improve

health

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That is

Linking Words

to say, following a proper diet, without eating too

much

Correct quantifier usage

many

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processes-based

Correct your spelling

processes based

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on food items

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

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to improve the

populations'

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population's

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well-being.

For instance

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, schools should check their students' lunch box whether they eat healthy meals or junk foods in order to children will start

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

proper meals

since

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show examples

childhood.

In other words

Linking Words

, physical exercise is the best way to improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public

health

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, which is all age

group

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groups

show examples

people

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can do walking, running and jumping, so it will help them to

being

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show examples

fit.

To conclude

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although

Linking Words

playing

sports

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frequently

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

assist

Correct subject-verb agreement

assists

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

staying fit, so diseases stay far away from the population, physical exercise and a proper diet

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

to improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public

health

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, in my opinion,

sports

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Change the verb form

are

show examples

not suitable for everyone, so physical exercise and diet

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

help to improve

health

Use synonyms

Submitted by reanudeepan on Sun Sep 08 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task requirements, but the points made could be clearer and more comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

You should focus on providing more clear and logical connections between your ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Although the introduction and conclusion are present, they could be better defined and more clearly related to the main points discussed in the body of the essay.

task achievement

More specific and relevant examples could strengthen your essay and make your points more convincing.

task achievement

Try to avoid minor grammatical errors to improve the overall quality of your writing.

coherence cohesion

You have included an introduction and conclusion, giving your essay a clear structure.

task achievement

The essay effectively discusses both viewpoints as requested in the task prompt.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others,however,say that this would have little effect on public healthand that other measure are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

In many countries, old or traditional languages are dying out or being forgotten, especially by younger people. Is this an acceptable development which occurs inevitably, or is it something which we should try to prevent?

Some individuals say that the main environmental issue of our time is the loss of particular types of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

in their advertising,businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products ar new in some way. why is this?do you think it isa positive ornegative developement?

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.