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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The outlined table illustrates the data of the
population
Use synonyms
 variations in New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by various
age
Use synonyms
 groups of individuals.
In addition
Linking Words
, it includes the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
change
Use synonyms
 in
age
Use synonyms
 groups.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 from the table, we do observe that the
age
Use synonyms
 groups under 15 and 15-39 have a miniscule
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
change
Use synonyms
 in the
population
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, as compared
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
overall
Linking Words
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
change
Use synonyms
 in the
population
Use synonyms
 holds +0.6%.
Although
Linking Words
, more number of people aged more than 65 have a significant
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
change
Use synonyms
 +4.0%. Roughly estimating the
overall
Linking Words
change
Use synonyms
 in the younger generation is very less as compared to
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 people with an
age
Use synonyms
 group more than 65.
This
Linking Words
 illustrates the fact that New Zealand is moving faster towards an
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, we can highlight the fact that from 2011 to 2012 in the span of
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 year duration, New Zealand's
population
Use synonyms
 had a +4%
population
Use synonyms
 with an
age
Use synonyms
 group of 65+ which can be considered as categorized as a non-working class.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, age, percentage, change with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population growth
  • age group
  • increase
  • decline
  • elderly population
  • aging population
  • working-age population
  • stable labor force
  • modest increase
  • significant change
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