IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Task 2, People naturally resist making changes in their lives. what kind of problems can this cause? what solutions can you suggest?

#people #changes #lives
It is human nature to resist changes and continue norms without questioning and doubting. People are afraid to
change
 anything as they are quite doubtful about the consequences and since they are hesitant
on getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
 out of their comfort zone. But I believe
change
 is mandatory and it is inevitable whether you like it or not.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
 resistance can put a severe strain on general and personal development. From what I see, the main problem that can
cause
Wrong verb form
be caused
show examples
 by people being reluctant to
change
 is that it slows the growth as a whole. Only
change
 can introduce development.
Furthermore
, citizens need to embrace changes in order to move forward.
For instance
, When
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 was introduced back in
early
Change the article
the early
show examples
 90s, it was a
change
 no one anticipated.
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
show examples
 was an introduction
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 reluctant to experience and it was something many banned from using as many believed it to be harmful. But today, it has become something a man cannot live without and
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a positive discovery that happened on Earth.
Hence
 it is obvious that resistance could sometimes cause negative effects even though it is our nature.
on the other hand
, in order to mitigate the dislikes, the obvious solution is to create awareness and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
educate about the positive outcomes. Ignorance is the main seed that generates hesitations.
Such
 hesitations could ascend
further
 which could create discomfort. In order to avoid
such
 negative scenarios, it is important to educate everyone on the changes and the outcomes that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 could create.
Furthermore
, conduct demonstrations if possible.
This
 will relieve and
generates
Correct subject-verb agreement
generate
show examples
 trust in the differences that a
change
 could introduce.
For example
, If people knew that
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 could provide
such
 convenience and that it is more safer than imagined,
then
 it would have had more improvements than before. In conclusion, ignorance and hesitation to get out of the comfort zone can result in
reluctance
Add an article
a reluctance
show examples
 to
change
 which could pause or stop general development
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the society and world as a whole. But with education and demonstration, it can be omitted and make
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 welcome
change
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
bit
Correct article usage
a bit
show examples
 more positivity.
Submitted by hashkweerasekara on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, as this enhances coherence. For example, one paragraph can discuss problems and another solutions, but avoid mixing them.
task achievement
Support your arguments with more specific examples and details. A broader range of real-world examples could strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Review the essay for minor grammatical errors and sentence structures to improve clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, helping the reader understand the overall message.
task achievement
The main points are adequately supported with relevant examples, particularly the example about the Internet.
task achievement
Your essay addresses key elements of the task and provides a complete response to the question.

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