Money management should be taught at school. do you agree?
It is universally acknowledged that
money
plays a crucial role in people’s prosperity. Presently, financial management
is learned in the community through experience after adolescence. However
, it is argued that financial skills should be taught at school to equip juveniles in the global market and guarantee their future. I totally agree with this
statement due to
its abundant benefits. This
essay will express the supportive reasons for this
notion.
Financial management
is an important skill
that should be learned along with
other courses and skills. This
skill
could help minors to be skilled in saving, spending and earning money
as well. In addition
, in recent days, stock marketing is a popular way of investing money
which requires knowledge to predict the financial charts in the global market. Learning this
skill
at a young age could pave their way to be on welfare as well as
studying in Correct pronoun usage
their favorite
favorite
field. Change the spelling
favourite
For example
, if a student who was not skilled in financial management
become
an engineer and Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
then
they suddenly bankrupt; this
financial skill
will play a backup role for them to reconstruct their lives.
The second reason is assisting
Change preposition
to assisting
family
through Fix the agreement mistake
families
financially educating
Replace the word
financial education
children
. In the modern era, new products are daily produced, distributed and advertised which tempts people especially juveniles to purchase them purposelessly. A financially equipped person is aware of advertising traps and avoids bad financial habits. Change preposition
for children
Consequently
, they would not waste their families’ income for
useless stuff. Change preposition
on
In other words
, financial management
would help families to save money
more. For example
, posting different clothes and fantasy accessories would incentivize girls to spend a huge expense on them, but financial skills would help them to limit their dedicating
allowance to unimportant things and focus on saving.
In conclusion, schools, as an educational environment, aim to prepare pupils to enter into the real world. Financial Verb problem
apply
management
which is essentially an influence on the success of adults should be set in the school curriculum to prepare students to overcome financial challenges.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task achievement
The essay presents a clear and relevant argument, but it could benefit from addressing potential counterarguments to provide a more balanced view. For example, consider briefly discussing why some might argue against teaching financial management in schools and then refuting those points.
coherence and cohesion
The flow of the essay is quite smooth, but some transitional phrases or sentences linking the paragraphs could enhance coherence. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to maintain clarity.
general
The vocabulary and grammar used in the essay are generally strong, but there are a few instances where slight grammatical inaccuracies or awkward phrasing could be polished. For example, the phrase "to be on welfare as well as studying in favorite field" could be rephrased for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the argument effectively. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reinforces the thesis.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant and help to illustrate the key points being made. This adds depth to the argument and makes it more convincing.