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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart above shows information about various professions in the U.K and their salaries. The table shows the average working hours per week for each profession.

The chart above shows information about various professions in the U.K and their salaries. The table shows the average working hours per week for each profession.
#information #professions #k #salaries #hours #week #profession
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The bar chart provides information about five different jobs and salaries in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. The table illustrates
average
Add an article
the average
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working hours per week for each profession.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 underground drivers receive
highest
Change the article
the highest
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 salary
while
Linking Words
 they work the least. First of all,
fire fighters
Correct your spelling
firefighters
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 and teachers work 55 hours which
was
Wrong verb form
is
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 the highest amount of working time.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 they do not earn the highest income.
Fire fighters
Correct your spelling
Firefighters
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 earned 40,000 which slightly increased after three years.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 teacher's
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
also
Linking Words
 displayed an almost similar pattern over time.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, underground
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
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 who only worked 36 hours per week received the highest salary at 50,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 when started and slightly over 50,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 after three years.
In contrast
Linking Words
, nurses who worked
similar
Change the word
similarly
show examples
 to underground drivers were paid the lowest at approximately 15,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 which rose to almost 20,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 after three years.
Submitted by wjddbs2206 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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