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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the resuits of a survey about people's coffee and teabuying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.Summarise the information by seiecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the resuits of a survey about people's coffee and teabuying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.Summarise the information by seiecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The bar chart above displays the purchasing and drinking habits of inhabitants in
five
Use synonyms
Austtralian
Correct your spelling
Australian
cities
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, including Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart.
According to
Linking Words
 the statistics, over half of the citizens in these
cities
Use synonyms
 once went to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 month, and the only exception is Adelaide, whose data,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, is extremely close to 50% as well.
In addition
Linking Words
, the bar chart reflects that instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 is more preferred than fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in these
cities
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. In all
five
Use synonyms
cities
Use synonyms
, the
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 of people consuming fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 four weeks
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 lower than 45%. That in Brisbane, as the lowest among them,
even do
Wrong verb form
does
show examples
 not
reach
Rephrase
even reach
show examples
 35%, which contrasts clearly with the proportions of people drinking instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the same city, surpassing 53%.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
 trend can be seen in all
five
Use synonyms
cities
Use synonyms
 surveyed.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
similiarity
Correct your spelling
similarity
, another common point reflected by the bar chart among the
five
Use synonyms
cities
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, as mentioned above, is their citizens' universal liking for
coffee
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 or tea. In Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, and Hobart, the percentages of people who suggested that they had
went
Wrong verb form
gone
show examples
 to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 four weeks
exceed
Wrong verb form
exceeded
show examples
 50%, the highest of which is Melbourne's, even
reaches
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 63%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words five, cities, coffee with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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