IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#countries #students #study #science #effects #society
Studies have shown that in the modern era, not so many
students
 are pursuing their studies in
science
 and they are showing their
interest
 in other departments. In my opinion, the new generation takes their decisions to own without taking any advice from their good wishers.
However
, there will be a
lot
 of drawbacks to society. I will discuss the both causes and effects of
this
 action in the given paragraphs. To commence with, the causes of not choosing
science
 as a subject. In the modern era, there are a
lot
 of new courses universities are offering and the
interest
 of
students
 has
also
 changed in recent times
due to
 social
media
 now there are so many careers related to social
media
 present.
For instance
,
students
 are more interested in social
media
 and they like to perform tasks related to social
media
 tasks.
Therefore
, so many
students
 have started studying courses, like social
media
 management.
Moreover
, there are a
lot
 of new careers related to social
media
 like Instagram manager and people
also
 starting their own business and expanding their businesses through social
media
 platforms.
On the other hand
, there will be a
lot
 of drawbacks if
students
 do not choose to study
science
. Because there are not so many
students
 studying
science
 ,
therefore
, the process of the scientific revolution will be stopped.
For example
, in the countries where people are not showing their
interest
 in
science
 subjects are becoming old school and the people of these countries don't have the ability to perform their tasks efficiently. They don't have high technology in their country and it
also
 affects the financial situation of a country.
To sum up
,
students
also
 have the right to do what they like ,
however
, if they don't show
interest
 in these major subjects
then
 there will be a
lot
 of hardships for society .
Submitted by mifzalrizwan2 on

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Examples
Try to provide more specific examples and elaborate on them to support your points more effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on ensuring a smoother flow between paragraphs. Use transition phrases to link ideas more coherently.
Clarity of Ideas
Expand on the ideas presented with more detailed explanations and ensure the clarity of your arguments.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and provide a good structure to the essay.
Task Response
The essay addresses both the causes and effects of the issue, ensuring a complete response to the task.
Logical Progression
There is a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, making it easy to follow the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math)
  • Perception of difficulty
  • Early exposure
  • Engaging experiences
  • Career opportunities
  • Practical applications
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural norms
  • Critical fields
  • Innovation
  • Economic development
  • Global competitiveness
  • Public health
  • Environmental issues
  • Scientific progress
  • Educational standards
  • Biodiversity loss
  • Healthcare services
  • Medical research
  • Job prospects
  • Research and technology
What to do next:
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