IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that schoolchildren should do their classwork individually. Other people believe that sometimes class work should be done in small groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #schoolchildren #classwork #class #work #groups
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There is no doubt, that doing classwork is crucial;
however
, the
way
 of implementation
that is
 arguable. Some people suggest
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
group work, but I agree with
idea
Correct article usage
the idea
show examples
 that classwork should be done individually.
To begin
 with, the supporters of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small
teams
Fix the agreement mistake
team
show examples
 practice
highlite
Correct your spelling
highlight
 the development of skills
such
 as
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
 and
communicational
Replace the word
communication
show examples
 abilities.
In other words
, students may divide a task and realise it
separatly
Correct your spelling
separately
, achieving the ability
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
interaction
Replace the word
interact
show examples
 with each other. As
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 example, a school project will be considered, where somebody could find
materials
, another person
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 scenario, and others play their roles.
In contrast
, it could be too hard to make a project by one individual, which may kill motivation to
study
.
As a result
,
realisation
Add an article
the realisation
a realisation
show examples
 of
study
 tasks together is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 effective
way
 of
developins
Correct your spelling
developing
 social skills.
On the other hand
, individual practice leads to better
digesting
Replace the word
digestion
show examples
 of
study
materials
.
This
 is because, an individual, who
solve
Correct subject-verb agreement
solves
show examples
 a
probleme
Correct your spelling
problem
 step
be
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
step
Add an article
a step
show examples
, achieves an experience in every part of
study
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
materials
 and understands it.
For instance
, I
studyed
Correct your spelling
studied
 in math class with
extremelly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 hard
programm
Correct your spelling
programming
 and only the
way
 to
comprehand
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comprehend
 topics was
individual
Change preposition
through individual
show examples
practicing
Replace the word
practice
show examples
. I had to calculate every piece of an
equitation
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equation
show examples
 in order to remember the methods. Alternatively, if an individual work was not
essencial
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essential
, homework or tasks would not exist at all. So, hardworking by
themthelves
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themselves
 leads to
high
Add an article
a high
the high
show examples
 level of
understending
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understanding
materials
. In
cinclusion
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conclusion
, I would stick to my opinion, that studying alone and doing
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 without help from classmates is the only
way
 of new
materials
 consumption in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
light of better understanding in practice.
Submitted by sergeybelov83 on

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on your examples and connecting them clearly to your main points. This will help illustrate your arguments better and provide a stronger response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and spelling to make your essay easier to read. This will enhance the clarity of your ideas and improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition of certain phrases and use a wider range of vocabulary to convey your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using cohesive devices effectively will make your essay flow better and be more engaging.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position, which is a strong way to start your essay.
task achievement
You have provided a conclusion that succinctly summarizes your viewpoint, which ties the essay together nicely.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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