Some people think having a university degree is the best way to secure a good job. However, others believe skills and experience are more important. Dicsuss both sides and give your opinion.

People
have different views on what are the important measures to guarantee getting a job. Some persons believe, that it is
mor
Correct your spelling
more
important to gain experience
first,
while
other
people
argue that higher education is important. I agree with those, who believe that securing a higher education is more important. On the one side, I agree that the experiences and
skills
gained after leaving school
con
Correct your spelling
can
show examples
provide practical
skills
in the workplace.
Moreover
, immediate entry into the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
market ensures financial independence. Some
people
do not have
Correct article usage
the oppotunity
show examples
oppotunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
to study and
therefore
are forced to work after graduation to
further
pay for their studies at a higher educational institution. Several
people
believe that higher education is not all. They are trained in educational
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
for
ceratin
Correct your spelling
certain
show examples
skills
and begin to work.
For example
, there are now many courses in accounting,
ptogramming
Correct your spelling
programming
and graphic design.
On the other hand
, there are several reasons that obtaining a degree can guarantee getting a job.
First,
university graduates have greater employment opportunities and higher lifetime earning potential. During the training, they gain
skills
that are needed for employment,
as well as
formal training and a diploma are more valued by the employer. From my point of view, visiting
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
can
also
offer networking. Some universities provide free internships abroad,
as well as
guaranteed employment. In conclusion, deciding to get a job immediately may be a good idea but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
am of the opinion that obtaining a university degree is fundamental to achieving a better career path.
Submitted by amirkhanovaak on

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task achievement
Work on providing more specific and varied examples to back up your points. This will add credibility and depth to your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are fully developed and supported to enhance the clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by making sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that directly supports your thesis. Linking sentences and transitional phrases will help in this regard.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the coherence between paragraphs by clearly linking them and ensuring smooth transitions. This will make your argument easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the context and summarizing your position effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates your understanding of the topic and ability to discuss multiple perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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