IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers
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In recent years, it can be seen that automated
vehicles
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 are slowly replacing the regular
vehicles
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.
Therefore
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, it is believed that robotic
vehicles
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 will be the future. Though it may be useful, I believe that
the
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its
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 drawbacks surpass its benefits. On the one hand, it helps to save a lot of
time
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. People can utilize the driving
time
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 to do their
works
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work
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such
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 as checking emails, eating, doing assignments , working on projects and so on.
In addition
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, robotic
vehicles
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 are useful for long
drive
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drives
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. Drivers get tired when they drive for
Correct article usage
a longtime
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longtime
Correct your spelling
long time
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 and it results in accidents. As robotic
vehicles
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 do not get exhausted and do not require frequent stops on
route
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the route
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, they can be effective for long drives.
For example
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, People
work
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who work
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 in remote areas or study far from where they live can travel to and from their
home
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homes
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.
On the other hand
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, it has many disadvantages too. It can cause many road accidents. They drive a vehicle based on how they have trained.
Therefore
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, they do not know how to handle unforeseen situations. Another disadvantage is that as they are not taken care of by a driver
means
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apply
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they can lose their function at any
time
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. They may get stuck in the road if the vehicle is broken down or out of battery. It can result in road blocking and accidents as it does not know
to
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how to
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take
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make
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 decisions
according to
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the
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apply
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real
Add a hyphen
real-time
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time
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 situations. A prime example is that an automated car which caught fire in the middle of a highway made a headline recently in Canada. In conclusion, though driverless
vehicles
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 can be useful sometimes, the drawbacks of
the
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apply
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autonomous
vehicles
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outweighs
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outweigh
show examples
 it.
Submitted by gowsht on

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task achievement
To improve your essay, especially in the task response area, consider expanding on the examples you provide. Make them more specific and detailed to strengthen your arguments. For instance, elaborate on how driverless vehicles could handle various unforeseen circumstances with more detail.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the coherence and cohesion of your essay by making smoother transitions between points. Try using linking words and phrases more effectively to ensure each argument logically follows from the previous one.
coherence cohesion
There are a few minor language errors. Consider revising your essay for grammar and syntax. This will help increase clarity and readability.
task achievement
Your introduction and conclusion provide a clear and concise context for your discussion which is a good way to frame your essay.
task achievement
You displayed a good effort in presenting both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is logically sound, with distinct paragraphs dedicated to each point you intend to make.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
What to do next:
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