IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The plans below show a habour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #habour #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The diagrams illustrate changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a
habour
Correct your spelling
harbour
 named Porth between 2000 and now.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the
habour
Correct your spelling
harbour
 has undergone a significant transformation, especially in service development for tourists. Looking at the western half of the map, the car parks remain unchanged but there is a new pathway connecting the southern car park to the main road. Adjacent to
this
 car park, new showers and toilets have been constructed.
Furthermore
, the marina with its private yachts has switched to fishing boats. In terms of the eastern side of the map, there is a new dock has been added in the north, creating 3 free spaces for the passenger ferries. It is
also
 worth noting that the most noticeable change is the construction of new cafes and shops adjacent to the lifeboat station.
Additionally
, the disused castle has been renovated to a new hotel with a new road leading to it,
then
 the public beach has been converted into a private beach belonging to the hotel.
Submitted by ng.hg.ly28 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all main features mentioned in the diagrams are summarized, and include more comparisons where relevant to highlight changes over time.
coherence cohesion
Maintain clear paragraphing for logical structure. The introduction is clear, but a conclusion summing up the changes would strengthen the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to avoid minor grammatical errors and improve sentence variety for better flow.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear description of the changes made to the harbor.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples to illustrate the transformations.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure with clear paragraphs separating different parts of the map.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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