The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in new zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selcting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #sales #sectors #zealand #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The pie charts provide the proportion of online sales in

retail

Add an article

the retail

show examples

sector in

new zealand

Correct your spelling

New Zealand

show examples

from 2003 to 2013.

This

data is categorized by type of sales including

travel

film

music

books

clothes

Correct word choice

and clothes

show examples

Overall

, it is evident that

travel

had the largest share in retail sales from the beginning, but it experienced a significant decrease

by growing

Verb problem

in the growth

show examples

film

music

and

books

. In detail,

travel

contributed to the

greastest

Correct your spelling

greatest

proportion with 36% and

then

decreased to 29% in 2013, far surpassing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Film

and

music

, which started

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

21% in 2003 to 33% by 2013.

While

, the percentage of clothes with 24% accounting for second place in 2003, falling to 16% in 2013,

books

showed a

consideable

Correct your spelling

considerable

incline, rising from 19% to 22%.

However

, it remained the least popular during the period. In summary, the percentage of

travel

part decreased dramatically,

while

film

and

music

exceeded it

Change preposition

with

show examples

consistent

Correct article usage

a consistent

show examples

rise.

Although

books

gained an increase over the given period,

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

remained the smallest part

Change preposition

show examples

retail online

shop

Fix the agreement mistake

shops

show examples

Submitted by sippakorn.wet on Mon Sep 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words travel, film, music, books with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

166 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Excell in multiple language always brings numerous benefits to an individual; it's not only allowing nations to introduce themselves confidentally in overseas countries, also help to quest the thrist of knowing other languages. Both sides have valid points and these points are discussed in the following paragraphs along with my opinion.
5.5
band
People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this?
In the contemporary era, with the advancement and the sophistication of the developmental process, the people are busier than ever. This has sparked a pressing issue in the familial level, as the members are apart from each other due to their hectic lifestyle. This essay will expound the compelling reasons behind this and viable solutions on it will be suggested with the relavant examples.
6.5
band
Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many individuals believe that male and female have their own suitable jobs due to different qualities. Although this writer agrees with this statement, some people keep the opposite views.
7
band
Your town council has decided to demolish an historic building due to lack of funds to renovate. Write a letter to your counselor . In your letter, you should say: why it is important to preserve the historic building how the funds could be generated.
I am writing this letter [to express my opinion on your recent decision, to demolish the central building due to insufficient funds.
6
band
Countries around the world require more and more energy every year for domestic and industrial use. What are the causes of this excessive energy consumption, and how does it affect the environment?
There is an increasing consumption of energy every year in nations all over the world for domestic and industrial use. The main causes of this problem are the growing population and the revolution in industries. This can lead to several problems regarding the environment, for instance, the destruction of nature and the never-ending pollution.

The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in new zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selcting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this?

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your town council has decided to demolish an historic building due to lack of funds to renovate. Write a letter to your counselor . In your letter, you should say: why it is important to preserve the historic building how the funds could be generated.

Countries around the world require more and more energy every year for domestic and industrial use. What are the causes of this excessive energy consumption, and how does it affect the environment?