The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in new zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selcting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #sales #sectors #zealand #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The pie charts provide the proportion of online sales in

retail

Add an article

the retail

show examples

sector in

new zealand

Correct your spelling

New Zealand

show examples

from 2003 to 2013.

This

data is categorized by type of sales including

travel

film

music

books

clothes

Correct word choice

and clothes

show examples

Overall

, it is evident that

travel

had the largest share in retail sales from the beginning, but it experienced a significant decrease

by growing

Verb problem

in the growth

show examples

film

music

and

books

. In detail,

travel

contributed to the

greastest

Correct your spelling

greatest

proportion with 36% and

then

decreased to 29% in 2013, far surpassing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Film

and

music

, which started

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

21% in 2003 to 33% by 2013.

While

, the percentage of clothes with 24% accounting for second place in 2003, falling to 16% in 2013,

books

showed a

consideable

Correct your spelling

considerable

incline, rising from 19% to 22%.

However

, it remained the least popular during the period. In summary, the percentage of

travel

part decreased dramatically,

while

film

and

music

exceeded it

Change preposition

with

show examples

consistent

Correct article usage

a consistent

show examples

rise.

Although

books

gained an increase over the given period,

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

remained the smallest part

Change preposition

show examples

retail online

shop

Fix the agreement mistake

shops

show examples

Submitted by sippakorn.wet on Mon Sep 09 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words travel, film, music, books with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

166 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in new zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selcting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

High Rise building - advantage/disadvantage These days more people prefer to live in vertical buildings. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the people?

Because of the negative effects on health of an inactive lifestyle, all university students and school children should be forced to do sports activities at least 3 times per week. Do you agree?

A successful person is one who has earned a lot of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Young adults are now choosing to wait until later in life, often until they are in their 30s, to settle down and get married. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your option.