The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in new zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selcting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #sales #sectors #zealand #summarise #information #features #comparisons

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The pie charts provide the proportion of online sales in

retail

Add an article

the retail

show examples

sector in

new zealand

Correct your spelling

New Zealand

show examples

from 2003 to 2013.

This

Linking Words

data is categorized by type of sales including

travel

Use synonyms

film

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

books

Use synonyms

clothes

Correct word choice

and clothes

show examples

Overall

Linking Words

, it is evident that

travel

Use synonyms

had the largest share in retail sales from the beginning, but it experienced a significant decrease

by growing

Verb problem

in the growth

show examples

film

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

and

books

Use synonyms

. In detail,

travel

Use synonyms

contributed to the

greastest

Correct your spelling

greatest

proportion with 36% and

then

Linking Words

decreased to 29% in 2013, far surpassing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Film

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

, which started

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

21% in 2003 to 33% by 2013.

While

Linking Words

, the percentage of clothes with 24% accounting for second place in 2003, falling to 16% in 2013,

books

Use synonyms

showed a

consideable

Correct your spelling

considerable

incline, rising from 19% to 22%.

However

Linking Words

, it remained the least popular during the period. In summary, the percentage of

travel

Use synonyms

part decreased dramatically,

while

Linking Words

film

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

exceeded it

Change preposition

with

show examples

consistent

Correct article usage

a consistent

show examples

rise.

Although

Linking Words

books

Use synonyms

gained an increase over the given period,

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

remained the smallest part

Change preposition

show examples

retail online

shop

Fix the agreement mistake

shops

show examples

Submitted by sippakorn.wet on Mon Sep 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words travel, film, music, books with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

166 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying/ To what extent do you agree with this statement? #future #nobody #newspapers #books
The coming year, Everybody do not want to printed books or magazines due to managing to read everything which is online. And I totally agree this idea. There are many reasons for selecting this point. In the below paragraphs, it will be given explanation examples fully.
7.5
band
Some people believe that countries should invite foreign companies to open their branches, offices and factories in order to develop their economies. Others think countries should invest in their own companies instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some say that nations must welcome foreign companies to set up and advance their businesses for economic development, whereas others feel that this investment should be restricted to domestic companies. While putting funds into their own companies can help promote local businesses, I believe it is far more beneficial to allow external enterprises, as it provides enhanced economic opportunities, both for the citizens and domestic companies.
7
band
You are interested in enrolling in a cooking class at a local college and would like a friend to come with you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter say where and when the class will be held give reasons why you think your friend might be interested suggest a time and place to meet to discuss the idea
How are you?. I hope you are doing well in spirit and health. I am afraid I have to deliver bad news regarding your balcony railing that got damaged due to the heavy storm last night.
4.5
band
Some people believe that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged, others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults.Discuss and give opinion.
It is taught that an awareness of battle in kids should be urged , another people consider that youngsters who are instructed to unify rather than try to be more rational from each other.
8.5
band
"Prevention is better than cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree.
It is often argued that examining and curing illnesses is extremely expensive; thus, it would be better to put money into inhibitory courses of action. This essay completely agrees with this view, because it makes the population experience a smaller number of diseases and reduces healthcare costs for them.

The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in new zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selcting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying/ To what extent do you agree with this statement? #future #nobody #newspapers #books

Some people believe that countries should invite foreign companies to open their branches, offices and factories in order to develop their economies. Others think countries should invest in their own companies instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged, others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults.Discuss and give opinion.

"Prevention is better than cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree.