Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefit of this mobility out where the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There is no denying the fact that technology has become significant in our
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
While
it is a commonly held belief that the
Correct article usage
apply
technonlgy
Correct your spelling
technology
assist
people outside their Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
work
, there is also
an argument that it doesn't help at all whether in work
and
our Correct word choice
or
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
This
essay will analyse both this
points of view and express my opinion.
On Correct determiner usage
these
one
hand, the majority of people completely Correct article usage
the one
relying
on advanced Wrong verb form
rely
technongy
even Correct your spelling
technology
in
outside of their Change preposition
apply
work
. In other words
, it has a
plenty of benefits ,Remove the article
apply
such
as making the work
easier and more accurate. In addition
, it is crucial to ensure these information
Change the determiner
this information
are
accessible to Correct subject-verb agreement
is
work
outside of get
the permits needed. Change the verb form
getting
For example
, if we are to get work
done ,so it is not important place to do the task.
On the other hand
, some people may have
afraid to do their assignments outside Verb problem
be
workplace
. It is Add an article
the workplace
also
possible to say that perhaps technchonlgy
has been hacked or damaged by hackers ,Correct your spelling
technology
however
they may have delicate information and sources. Add a comma
however,
Moreover
, it is a
critical to preserve our tasks or even projects ,so we do not blame them to avoid hacking. Change the article
apply
For instance
, if we work
outside perhaps get the
security issue by using Correct article usage
a
internet
or Add an article
the internet
accessin
their servers , Correct your spelling
accessing
thus
it is better to do work
inside the facility.
In conclusion, there are no easy answers to this
question. On balance, however
, I tend to believe that we must be more awareness
Replace the word
aware
about
our technology ,Change preposition
of
such
as moblile
or Correct your spelling
mobile
computer
.Fix the agreement mistake
computers
Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on
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Language
Your essay would benefit from more precise language and correct spelling. Pay attention to words like 'technology', 'assist', 'advanced', 'permits', and 'projects', which have spelling errors in your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your arguments. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and support it with clear and relevant examples.
Task Response
While you have discussed both viewpoints, your essay would improve if you provided more specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. Adding statistics, studies, or personal experiences could strengthen your argument.
Task Response
You have a clear understanding of the topic and have addressed both sides of the argument, which is very good.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, and they outline the basic structure of your essay, which helps guide the reader through your argument.
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