Some people think exposure to modern technology at an earlier age is good for children, while others claim that it is harmful to their development. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In our world there is good
things
and there
is
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are
show examples
bad
things
but we talk about
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
at an earlier age do you think is a good thing or
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
a bad thing to
use
technology
in
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apply
show examples
these
days
.
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?
show examples
In my opinion
that is
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something
show examples
some thing
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something
show examples
good we
use
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technology
techology
Correct your spelling
technology
in
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apply
show examples
these
days
because we need information that we do not know about it so in school we
use
or
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our
show examples
laptop or
tablate
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tablet
for our subject to
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research
resarch
Correct your spelling
research
about
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apply
show examples
things
that the teacher
tell
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tells
show examples
us about
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
is
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it
show examples
and to see and to have more information in biology we
use
our device to do
resarch
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research
about fungi or more
things
that the teacher tell us about
however
, we study in or device and we do our homework in our
devies
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devices
somtimes
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sometimes
we do our
projet
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project
show examples
in our
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
First of all, children most
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
know how to
use
thier techonolgy
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their technology
so they can depend on there self not on
there
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their
show examples
family
becuse
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because
you will not say with your family long
periode
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period
,
secondly
they most
to
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apply
show examples
have the knowledge to
ues
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use
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
techology
Correct your spelling
technology
it is something good to know how to
use
their
technolgy
because they are growing they must know about
technolgy
.
Althougt
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Although
, children
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will love
technolgy
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technology
and how to
use
is
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it
show examples
some
kids
know about coding they love to code, coding is so
importat
Correct your spelling
important
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these
days
many
kids
now to
use
coding or edit
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
videos
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
youtube
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YouTube
show examples
is so important
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these
days
because
kids
learn
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
or Tik tok to have information
things
that they like and to have the skills and knowledge abot new ideas there lot of app that they can teach your
kids
how to do his work or homework, in another hand, there is ai that help you to do your homework or assement. In
conclustion
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conclusion
,
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
parents
most
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must
show examples
let
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
use
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
techonlgy
Correct your spelling
technology
to have the
experince
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experience
to know
Change preposition
of knowing
show examples
many
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
and if he
grow
Change the verb form
grows
show examples
up he have knowledge
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
to
use
his own
devies
Correct your spelling
devices
.
Submitted by alkhameesa448 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider adding a clearer and more precise introduction. The current one is somewhat vague and doesn't clearly introduce the topic at hand.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Right now, the structure is a bit disjointed.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. While general ideas are present, they need grounding in real-world scenarios or studies.
task achievement
Enhance the depth of your ideas. Try to explore both sides of the argument more thoroughly to provide a balanced discussion.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have included a conclusion which summarizes your opinion, giving a sense of closure to the essay.
coherence cohesion
You make a reasonable attempt to organize the essay into clear sections with introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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