Some people think exposure to modern technology at an earlier age is good for children, while others claim that it is harmful to their development. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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In our world there is good
things
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and there
is
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are
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bad
things
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but we talk about
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technolgy
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technology
at an earlier age do you think is a good thing or
its
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apply
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a bad thing to
use
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technology
in
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apply
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these
days
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.
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?
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In my opinion
that is
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something
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some thing
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something
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good we
use
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Correct your spelling
technology
techology
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technology
in
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apply
show examples
these
days
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because we need information that we do not know about it so in school we
use
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or
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our
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laptop or
tablate
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tablet
for our subject to
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research
resarch
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research
about
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apply
show examples
things
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that the teacher
tell
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tells
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us about
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apply
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is
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it
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and to see and to have more information in biology we
use
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our device to do
resarch
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research
about fungi or more
things
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that the teacher tell us about
however
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, we study in or device and we do our homework in our
devies
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devices
somtimes
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sometimes
we do our
projet
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project
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in our
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technolgy
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technology
First of all, children most
to
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apply
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know how to
use
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thier techonolgy
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their technology
so they can depend on there self not on
there
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their
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family
becuse
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because
you will not say with your family long
periode
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period
,
secondly
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they most
to
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apply
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have the knowledge to
ues
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use
there
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their
show examples
techology
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technology
it is something good to know how to
use
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their
technolgy
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because they are growing they must know about
technolgy
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.
Althougt
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Although
, children
they
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apply
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will love
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technolgy
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technology
and how to
use
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is
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it
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some
kids
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know about coding they love to code, coding is so
importat
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important
in
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apply
show examples
these
days
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many
kids
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now to
use
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coding or edit
there
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their
show examples
videos
in
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on
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youtube
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YouTube
show examples
is so important
in
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apply
show examples
these
days
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because
kids
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learn
form
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from
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youtube
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YouTube
show examples
or Tik tok to have information
things
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that they like and to have the skills and knowledge abot new ideas there lot of app that they can teach your
kids
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how to do his work or homework, in another hand, there is ai that help you to do your homework or assement. In
conclustion
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conclusion
,
there
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their
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parents
most
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must
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let
there
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their
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
use
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his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
techonlgy
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technology
to have the
experince
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experience
to know
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of knowing
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many
thing
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things
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and if he
grow
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grows
show examples
up he have knowledge
how
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of how
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to
use
Use synonyms
his own
devies
Correct your spelling
devices
.
Submitted by alkhameesa448 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider adding a clearer and more precise introduction. The current one is somewhat vague and doesn't clearly introduce the topic at hand.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Right now, the structure is a bit disjointed.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. While general ideas are present, they need grounding in real-world scenarios or studies.
task achievement
Enhance the depth of your ideas. Try to explore both sides of the argument more thoroughly to provide a balanced discussion.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have included a conclusion which summarizes your opinion, giving a sense of closure to the essay.
coherence cohesion
You make a reasonable attempt to organize the essay into clear sections with introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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