In a public-funded healthcare system, people who are willing to pay for the best and fast treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Indiviuals
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Individuals
can access
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
healthcare system
durning theire
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during their
ailments. It is argued that for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quick and better
treatment
people can pay if they want. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss how
its
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it is
show examples
benefical
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beneficial
for others to get fast
treatment
as well. Persons who are paying
themselves
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for themselves
show examples
in the general hospital
are not only helps
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are not only helping
are not only helped
show examples
themselves but
providing
Rephrase
also providing
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assitant
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assistance
assistant
to others.
For example
, rich ones
paying
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
for cancer
treatment
, meanwhile they
saving
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
money which leads to
improve
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improving
show examples
the
heatlh
Correct your spelling
health
of poor people.
Moreover
,
left over
Correct your spelling
leftover
show examples
money might be used for getting better equipment in the hospital which has resulted in better technology and safe medical equipment.
By paying
Change preposition
Paying
show examples
money in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
hostpitals
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hospitals
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to get quick
treatment
. waiting in the queue, for
insatance
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instance
people may cut the line which
allow
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allows
show examples
to save
Change the verb form
saving
show examples
time.
As a result
,
indivials
Correct your spelling
individuals
could go home early
instead
of
waitaing
Correct your spelling
waiting
a ages
Correct the article-noun agreement
ages
an age
show examples
in the hospital for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
treatment
.
Moreover
,
Submitted by mandeep10022 on

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task achievement
The essay introduction is fairly clear but lacks a clear thesis statement that maps out the arguments. It's important to be more specific about what aspects of the statement you will discuss.
task achievement
Some grammar and spelling errors (e.g., 'durning', 'their', 'heatlh', 'indivials') detract from the overall clarity. Proofreading for such errors will improve the essay’s readability.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure can be improved by ensuring each paragraph has one clear idea and avoids redundancy. Some ideas are repeated instead of moving the argument forward. Try to refine your points to ensure each is distinct and adds to the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a conclusion. A strong conclusion summarizes the key points made in the essay and restates the writer's stance. Insert a concluding paragraph to provide a cohesive end to your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your main points. This can help in making your argument more persuasive and clear.
task achievement
The essay touches upon relevant issues such as the economic benefits of allowing payment in public hospitals and the potential for better equipment and technology.
task achievement
There is an attempt to discuss both how this system benefits payers and the broader community, which shows an understanding of various stakeholders.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Healthcare system
  • Public-funded
  • Private healthcare
  • Two-tier system
  • Equity
  • Efficiency
  • Universal access
  • Resource allocation
  • Quality of care
  • Queue skipping
  • Economic impact
  • Ethical considerations
  • Accessibility
  • Public investment
  • Health outcomes
  • Social inequality
  • Health insurance
  • Privilege
  • Funding
  • Resource distribution
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