In a public-funded healthcare system, people who are willing to pay for the best and fast treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now → Introduction
can access
publicCorrect article usage
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healthcare system
ailments. It is argued that for
the Correct article usage
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quick and better
people can pay if they want. In
I will discuss how
itsCorrect your spelling
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for others to get fast
as well.
Body
Persons who are paying
themselvesChange preposition
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in the general hospital
are not only helpsChange the verb form
are not only helping
are not only helped
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themselves but
to others.
, rich ones
payingWrong verb form
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for cancer
, meanwhile they
savingWrong verb form
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money which leads to
improveChange the verb form
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the
of poor people.
,
left overCorrect your spelling
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money might be used for getting better equipment in the hospital which has resulted in better technology and safe medical equipment.
Conclusion
By payingChange preposition
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money in
the Correct article usage
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public
helpCorrect subject-verb agreement
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to get quick
. waiting in the queue, for
people may cut the line which
allowChange the verb form
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to saveChange the verb form
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time.
,
could go home early
of
a agesCorrect the article-noun agreement
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in the hospital for
the Correct article usage
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.
,
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The essay introduction is fairly clear but lacks a clear thesis statement that maps out the arguments. It's important to be more specific about what aspects of the statement you will discuss.
Some grammar and spelling errors (e.g., 'durning', 'their', 'heatlh', 'indivials') detract from the overall clarity. Proofreading for such errors will improve the essay’s readability.
The logical structure can be improved by ensuring each paragraph has one clear idea and avoids redundancy. Some ideas are repeated instead of moving the argument forward. Try to refine your points to ensure each is distinct and adds to the argument.
The essay lacks a conclusion. A strong conclusion summarizes the key points made in the essay and restates the writer's stance. Insert a concluding paragraph to provide a cohesive end to your essay.
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your main points. This can help in making your argument more persuasive and clear.
The essay touches upon relevant issues such as the economic benefits of allowing payment in public hospitals and the potential for better equipment and technology.
There is an attempt to discuss both how this system benefits payers and the broader community, which shows an understanding of various stakeholders.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.