IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table shows the proportion of people in England who agreed with same-sex marriage from 1989 to 2013.

The table shows the proportion of people in England who agreed with same-sex marriage from 1989 to 2013.
#proportion #people #england #same-sex #marriage
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph reveals the production of civilians in
England
Use synonyms
 who agreed with same-gender marriage from 1989 to 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, a unique characteristic is that all of them increase in the future. There are six religions that considerably increased their percentage in getting marriage
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
same -sex
Add a hyphen
same-sex
show examples
 and these are
Church
Correct article usage
the Church
show examples
 of
England
Use synonyms
,
roman
Capitalize word
Roman
show examples
 Catholic, and another
Use synonyms
Christian
Replace the word
Christianity
show examples
. After that,
Non-
Correct your spelling
non-Christian
show examples
Christian
Use synonyms
 and No
religion
Use synonyms
 increased less than the others mentioned. The highest proportion
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 individuals who get
marriage
Replace the word
married
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 sex was in no
religion
Use synonyms
 in 1989 with 20 per
cent
Use synonyms
, and
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 was the church of
England
Use synonyms
, Roman Catholic, and Other
Use synonyms
Christian
Fix the agreement mistake
Christians
show examples
 with 9 per
cent
Use synonyms
. The one who increased 5 times
is
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 value in the future was No
religion
Use synonyms
. The ones that have
least
Change the article
the least
show examples
 percentage in 2013
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
non-
Correct your spelling
non-Christians
show examples
Christian
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
church
Add an article
the church
a church
show examples
 of
England
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 55 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and other
Use synonyms
Christian
Fix the agreement mistake
Christians
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 54 per
cent
Use synonyms
. The highest percentage was roman catholic with 61 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and no
religion
Use synonyms
 with 77 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words england, christian, religion, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: