The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in new zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart below illustrates New
Zealand
inline shopping Change noun form
Zealand's
sales
for several Use synonyms
sectors
in 2003 and 2013. Use synonyms
Overall
, it is clearly seen that in New Zealands'online Linking Words
shops
in 2003, Correct word choice
online shops
film
/music and books Correct article usage
the film
sectors
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
occuping
only 40% of all Correct your spelling
occupied
siles
. Correct your spelling
sales
However
, in 2013 there are both Linking Words
occuped
nearly 55% of all online Correct your spelling
occupied
shop
.
Getting back to the details, online Fix the agreement mistake
shops
sales
for retail Use synonyms
sectors
in 2003, Use synonyms
travel
sector shared about 36 per cent of the market and had Correct article usage
the travel
leading
position compared with other retail Correct article usage
a leading
sectors
, in 2013, travel Use synonyms
sales
had slightly decreased Use synonyms
for
7% and eventually, film/music trend Change preposition
to
sales
had grown for 12% and take a lead in 2013. Use synonyms
Moreover
, in 2003, books Linking Words
sales
Use synonyms
,
were expanding Remove the comma
apply
only
19% of all Change preposition
by only
sales
Use synonyms
that
was Correct pronoun usage
which
the
bottom of the Change preposition
at the
sales
between retail Use synonyms
sectors
. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, after 10 years, Linking Words
books
sale index Correct article usage
the books
grow
slightly and took nearly 22% of all market Wrong verb form
grew
sales
.
Regarding Use synonyms
to
the chart, 2003's clothes Remove the preposition
apply
sale
share was 24%. Fix the agreement mistake
sales
Nevertheless
, in 10 years, Linking Words
this
number decreased Linking Words
for
8 per cent Change preposition
by
Linking Words
that
is 16%
Correct pronoun usage
which
To sum up
, most Linking Words
of
people used to buy travel goods in New Zealand Change preposition
apply
during
2003, despite Change preposition
in
this
, in 2013, most Linking Words
of
people were buying film/music goods.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by berlinastanalll on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, sectors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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