The chart below shows information about Heart Attacks by Age and Gender in USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. • You should write at least 150 words. • You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The chart below shows information about Heart Attacks by Age and Gender in USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

• You should write at least 150 words.

• You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The chart illustrates the number of
people
in the United States with
heart
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
by gender and
age
.
Overall
,
people
are more likely to suffer from
heart
Add an article
a heart
show examples
attack
as they
age
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
from the middle
age
. The number of
male
Change to a plural noun
males
show examples
is higher than that of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
in all the
age
groups. Starting with the graph for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
, there are 123
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
from 29 to 44 with
heart
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
whereas
the number suddenly jumps to 424
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
for
45
Correct article usage
the 45
show examples
to 64
age
group
. There is not a significant change when they reach 65 with a minor increase
although
the gap between
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
reduces in a dramatic way. Turning to the figure for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
, only 3
thousands
Correct your spelling
thousand
show examples
of the youngest
age
group
from 29 to 44 are diagnosed with
heart
Add an article
a heart
show examples
attack
. Those who are from 45 to 64 tend to suffer from it more with 136
thousands
, making it comparatively lower than
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
in the same
age
group
.
However
, the graph experiences a radical increase with 374
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
in contrast
to the graph for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
with a slight change between the
age
group
of 45 to 64 and over 65.
Submitted by mizuho on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, heart, attack, age, thousands, group with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • occurrence
  • prevalence
  • age group
  • gender disparities
  • notable trends
  • significant
  • comparison
  • discrepancies
  • patterns
  • statistics
  • demographics
  • rate of incidence
  • proportion
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