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Band 6.5

The chart below shows information about Heart Attacks by Age and Gender in USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. • You should write at least 150 words. • You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The chart below shows information about Heart Attacks by Age and Gender in USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. • You should write at least 150 words. • You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
#information #heart #attacks #age #gender #usa #summarise #features #comparisons #minutes
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The chart illustrates the number of
people
Use synonyms
 in the United States with
heart
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
 by gender and
age
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are more likely to suffer from
Use synonyms
heart
Add an article
a heart
show examples
attack
Use synonyms
 as they
age
Use synonyms
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 from the middle
age
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. The number of
male
Change to a plural noun
males
show examples
 is higher than that of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in all the
age
Use synonyms
 groups. Starting with the graph for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
, there are 123
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 from 29 to 44 with
heart
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
 the number suddenly jumps to 424
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 for
45
Correct article usage
the 45
show examples
 to 64
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
. There is not a significant change when they reach 65 with a minor increase
although
Linking Words
 the gap between
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 reduces in a dramatic way. Turning to the figure for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
, only 3
Use synonyms
thousands
Correct your spelling
thousand
show examples
 of the youngest
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 from 29 to 44 are diagnosed with
Use synonyms
heart
Add an article
a heart
show examples
attack
Use synonyms
. Those who are from 45 to 64 tend to suffer from it more with 136
thousands
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, making it comparatively lower than
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 in the same
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the graph experiences a radical increase with 374
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
in contrast
Linking Words
 to the graph for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 with a slight change between the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of 45 to 64 and over 65.
Submitted by mizuho on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, heart, attack, age, thousands, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • occurrence
  • prevalence
  • age group
  • gender disparities
  • notable trends
  • significant
  • comparison
  • discrepancies
  • patterns
  • statistics
  • demographics
  • rate of incidence
  • proportion
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