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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts compare ways of accessing the news in Canada and Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts compare ways of accessing the news in Canada and Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#news #canada #australia #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts show six categories of
energy
capacity
 in
gigawats
Correct your spelling
gigawatts
gigawatt
 in 2012 and in 2030.
Overall
, fossil fuels, renewables and nuclear will decrease
while
 other
energy
 capacities
such
 as wind, solar and flexibility
capacity
 will increase.
According to
 the first pie
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 the highest
percent point
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
 of fossil fuels was 64%,
renewables
Correct word choice
and renewables
show examples
 had almost
Correct article usage
a quater
show examples
quater
Correct your spelling
quarter
 of all
energy
capacity
.
Moreover
, wind and nuclear had particularly the same percentages 5% and 6% respectively.
Other
Correct article usage
The other
show examples
 2 categories: solar and flexibility
capacity
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 allocated
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 2% and 1%. In 2030,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
scientists
Add a comma
prediction,
show examples
prediction
Replace the word
predict
show examples
 the situation will change. Fossil fuels will stay a leader with 44%. Solar
willl
Correct your spelling
will
 have a significant increase from 2% to 18%,
also
 wind will increase too from 5% to 12%,
while
 renewables will lose 3
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 points. Flexible
capacity
 will show
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stability without significant changes, the same situation with nuclear. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of all categories will be changed
on
Change preposition
by
show examples
 no more than 3%,
while
 other
energy
 capacities will
hace
Correct your spelling
have
a significant changes
Correct the article-noun agreement
significant changes
a significant change
show examples
 both positively and negatively.
Submitted by viktoria.popova92 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, capacity with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
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