Many employers believe that good social skills are as important as good qualifications to succeed in a job, so they are employing people who are with good social skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In our time old
people
need to work
harder to compete with young people
in the exact jobs, which makes old people
get more tired and makes their lives more difficult, we need to allocate some kind of work
for the elderly.
The oldest in this
period need to work
for many reasons they need the work
as much as we do, however
, it is unfortunate that we make it hard for them and we compete with young people
, they have much-unstrung bodies and for this
, if they should not work
hardly as the youngest, and it is unfair to them as well, because they will lose their jobs and this
will lead them to sickness, for example
, a study in Harvard showed that the more difficult was the work
for old people
the more they become close to sadness.
The simple solution to this
problem is basically to make a section in the company or the workplace for the elderly, and the department must contain work
appropriate to their competence, and it must be just for them, in this
way, we will solve the issue and we will do a moral thing for them, for instance
, I read a newspaper showed some company have this
system and the company shows a successful in it.
In conclusion, putting young and old people
on the same level is unmoral and unfair for both of them, it is supposed to make life easy for them and put in mind their age and the long time they lived and how hard it is hard for them to work
in a difficult job and also
it is hard as well to not have a job for them.Submitted by ahmedaziz9811 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and avoid repetition by being succinct and to the point. Some sentences are too wordy and might confuse the reader. For example, 'The oldest in this period need to work for many reasons they need the work as much as we do.' This could be made clearer and more concise.
coherence cohesion
Work on logical transitions between ideas to guide the reader smoothly through your arguments. Some transitions are abrupt and can break the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and data to support your points, which will strengthen your argument. The example from Harvard is a good start, but more details and sources would help to substantiate your claims.
task achievement
Ensure that your introduction properly outlines the main points you will discuss, and that your conclusion effectively summarizes those points and reinforces your argument. This will help structure your essay more coherently.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a crucial component of a well-organized response.
task achievement
You have identified a specific problem and proposed a solution, demonstrating an understanding of the task asked. This indicates you have a comprehensive grasp of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.