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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The chart below gives information about the journeys to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year.

The chart below gives information about the journeys to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year.
#information #journeys #school #children #uk #year
The provided bar chart gives information on the different types of vehicles that
utilized
Add a missing verb
are utilized
show examples
 in order to get
school
Fix the infinitive
to school
show examples
,namely walking,bicycle,car and bus. The units are measured in per cent. Generally speaking, it is evident that the vast majority of individuals walked to
school
 rather than used contemporary vehicles for transportation. First and foremost, it is evident that 90% of journeys to
school
made
Add a missing verb
are made
show examples
 by walking in the
distance
 of 0-1
miles
.
Moreover
,more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of them walked at 1-2
miles
,whilst approximately 25% of individuals walked in 2-5
miles
. With regards to the bicycle, it is noticeable that 50% of all journeys that made at the
distance
 of 0-1
miles
,
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
 journeys at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
distance
 of 1-2
miles
 reached the apex at nearly 78%. Taking
closer
Add an article
a closer
show examples
 look
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the modern appliance of
trsnsportstion
Correct your spelling
transportation
, it is evident that approximately 10% of individuals
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 to reach
destination
Correct pronoun usage
their destination
show examples
 at 0-1 mile comprised 10%,whilst 30% reached 1-2
miles
 and those who reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
distance
 over 5
miles
 comprised 20%. Notwithstanding
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
 types of vehicles that were used to reach
school
 by students, public transport,namely
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
that
ridden
Correct your spelling
ridded
show examples
tge
Correct your spelling
the
distance
 over 5
miles
 reached the vertex at 70%.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words school, distance, miles with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

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