Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Expanding
population and today's competitive industry have been demanding more fuel Correct article usage
The expanding
sources
such
as gas and oil
at an increasing rate across globe
. Add an article
the globe
This
has led inevitably to look for new sources
and occupy remote Correct your spelling
resources
areas
. This
situation has more disadvantages from different perspectives, and this
essay demonstrates firstly
the damages can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
araise
during the Correct your spelling
arise
raise
oil
or gas production prosess
by following an analysis of the disadvantages of moving untouched regions.
The mean downbreak of finding new Correct your spelling
process
sources
in remote areas
is environmental damage. Drawing oil
out from sources
has a couple of stages and all of them affect to
local flora and fauna Change preposition
apply
with
different Change preposition
in
way
. Fix the agreement mistake
ways
Firstly
, the noise of this
prosess
creates Correct your spelling
process
Add an article
an obstacle
obstacle
to live sensitive animals, likely dolphins, Fix the agreement mistake
obstacles
wheals
in Correct your spelling
wheels
this
part of ocean
. Add an article
the ocean
Moreover
, the accidents in oil
industry have polluted heavily certain Add an article
the oil
area
which cause dead local flora and fauna .Fix the agreement mistake
areas
For example
, the happened accident in the stage of transportation in 2016 destroyed entirily
ecological balance in more Correct your spelling
the
70
hectars of Change preposition
than 70
Caribbean
Add an article
the Caribbean
sea
.
Capitalize word
Sea
In addition
, the occupation of unresidental
regions Correct your spelling
residential
result
in other disadvantages. Finding new Change the verb form
results
sources
Correct your spelling
resources
also
brings the families together with
industry employees to new region
, Fix the agreement mistake
regions
thus
, there are build
new Verb problem
apply
residental
Correct your spelling
residential
areas
. This
means destroying a
local natural environment for construction Correct article usage
the
suburbs
and cities. Change preposition
of suburbs
Therefore
, the
wild animals can not find sufficient Correct article usage
apply
areas
for food and living.
In conclusion, there are inevitible
damages to ecology in finding new Correct your spelling
inevitable
inevitably
oil
and gas sources
and occupation untouchted
Correct your spelling
untouched
areas
.Submitted by i.nureddinn on
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introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which make it easy to follow your arguments. However, the essay could benefit from a more detailed conclusion that revisits the main points discussed.
logical structure
Your essay would benefit from a more logical structure. The advantages and disadvantages could be divided into separate paragraphs for more clarity.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and focuses on one main idea, helping to make your argument more cohesive.
supported main points
You have valid points in your arguments, but they should be explained in greater detail, and specific examples should be integrated more thoroughly to strengthen your essay.
complete response
The essay addresses the topic but needs to provide a more comprehensive response, particularly by expanding on the advantages or counterarguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to elaborate your ideas more clearly. For instance, discuss in detail how environmental damages occur and how they compare to the potential benefits of finding new oil sources.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more relevant and varied specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your arguments more persuasive and concrete.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay introduces the topic clearly and states a clear opinion on the topic, making your standpoint easy to understand.
supported main points
You have identified key disadvantages such as environmental damage and the negative impact on local wildlife, which are relevant to the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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