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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007 BRITISH EMIGRATION TO SELECTED DESTINATIONS-2004-2007 Thousands

The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007 BRITISH EMIGRATION TO SELECTED DESTINATIONS-2004-2007 Thousands
#british #emigration #destinations #destinations- #thousands
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The Chart illustrates UK emigration to five different countries
Astralia
Correct your spelling
Australia
, Spain,
new zealand
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New Zealand
show examples
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 and France From 2004 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Australia
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 highest country
were
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 moved to there for the given period.
While
Linking Words
 the lowest emigration were in
new zealand
Correct your spelling
New Zealand
show examples
 and USA. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is clear from the chart
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in 2007 Australia topped the emigration from
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 until it
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 51,000 . In 2005 the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who moved to
Austraia
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Australia
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 to only 39,000
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
. Between 2004 to 2006 British
people
Use synonyms
 who emigrated to
spain
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Spain
show examples
stand
Wrong verb form
stood
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steadly
Correct your spelling
steadily
steady
 around 34.000 and 32,000 only .
While
Linking Words
 in 2007 it
go
Wrong verb form
went
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 down to nearly 27,000 . The amount of
emigrates
Wrong verb form
emigrated
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in New
zealand
Change the capitalization
Zealand
show examples
 decreased gradually over the given time period. In 2005 the lowest number of
people
Use synonyms
 were moved to
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 it just 29,000 . In 2006 it started to rise
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 25,000 but it
falled
Correct your spelling
fell
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 to 20,000 in 2007 .
In
Linking Words
contrast
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contrast,
show examples
 the number of visitors to France spiked to nearly 35,000 in 2005, it was the country that was the least popular to emigrate .
Submitted by bushra.2001.mb on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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