IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some would argue that
television
Use synonyms
it’s
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 in
education
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others believe
it’s
Use synonyms
 just for having
fun
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
television
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 movies and shows for entertainment. I believe that
television
Use synonyms
 can be useful for
education
Use synonyms
, as
there’s
Wrong verb form
there are
show examples
 a
lot
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 of
programs
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 that
interesting
Add a missing verb
are interesting
show examples
 for
children
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 and
also
Linking Words
 adults and develop their information. On the one hand, many people claim that
television
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 is only for entertainment, as
it’s
Use synonyms
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of
time
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. Many
children
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 and
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also
Rephrase
apply
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adults
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 a
lot
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 of
time
Use synonyms
 watching
television
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for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
movies and
programs
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 that
just
Add a missing verb
are just
show examples
 for
fun
Use synonyms
, and that may bring a
lot
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 of negative results, as they
set
Add a missing verb
are set
show examples
 in
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
place for a long
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
, it may
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their eyes and
have
Verb problem
cause
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 problems in their body and
also
Linking Words
 it can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 negatively in their studies and get a bad degree.
For example
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, a
lot
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 of
children
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 in schools
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
television
Use synonyms
 for
fun
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
low
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, I support that
television
Use synonyms
 may
bring
Verb problem
be
show examples
fun
Use synonyms
 for
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 but
it’s
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also
Linking Words
 can be useful for
education
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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,
television
Use synonyms
 can be useful for
education
Use synonyms
 and help both
children
Use synonyms
 and adults to improve their information and
also
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 their language. If
children
Use synonyms
 start
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
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a competition
Correct the article-noun agreement
competition programs
a competition program
show examples
programs
Use synonyms
 it will develop their knowledge, and
also
Linking Words
 watching
programs
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 and movies in another language
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can help them
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For instance
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, when I was young, I watched a
lot
Use synonyms
 of Russian series, and one day I
listen
Wrong verb form
listened
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 to
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
conversaion
Correct your spelling
conversations
 in Russian and I was surprised that I
understand
Wrong verb form
understood
show examples
 it all.
For
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this
Linking Words
 reason, I believe that
television
Use synonyms
 can be useful for
education
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
television
Use synonyms
 can
used
Add a missing verb
be used
show examples
 for entertainment and have a good
time
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. I claim that it can be helpful for
education
Use synonyms
 as
Use synonyms
it’s
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
 may improve the knowledge and can help them to learn new things.

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task achievement
The essay responds to the prompt well, discussing both views regarding television's role in education and entertainment. However, to achieve a higher score, more specific examples and a more in-depth analysis of both arguments would be beneficial.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally maintains coherence and cohesion with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Improving logical flow and refining paragraph transitions would enhance the readability of the essay.
language
Ensure grammatical accuracy and avoid repetitive sentence structures. Attention to punctuation and sentence variety will make the essay more engaging and clear.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, addressing both views and providing the writer's opinion.
supported main points
Relevant points are mentioned about how television can affect children and adults both positively and negatively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational programs
  • informative documentaries
  • interactive learning
  • entertaining content
  • reality shows
  • cartoons
  • intellectual development
  • parental guidance
  • screen time
  • creative thinking
  • educational potential
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