Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Some believe that having more police on the streets is the best way to reduce and combat crime. To what extent do you agree?

#countries #rate #crime #believe #police #streets #combat

In some nations, illegal activities have firmly increased. It is often argued that decreasing the

crime

rate on subways is controlled by the

police

force.

However

, I believe

police

officers are not the only ones who are key to addressing the

crime

. In

this

essay, I will give

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of reasons for how to ensure the safety of locals. To commence with, road

police

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

several pros to control the traffic. To explicate it,

police

catch criminals on time without any permission from the government because they have the authority to take immediate

action

Moreover

, they comfort locals by providing security and peace in the respective locations where they are allocated their duties.

For example

police man

Correct your spelling

policeman

show examples

in the United Kingdom

take

Change the verb form

takes

show examples

immediate

action

when they depict any harmful content.

As a result

, a

police

officer is a part of society to reduce the

crime

ratio.

In addition

, there are myriads of ways to control the dangerous actions.

Furthermore

, the governments should

immplants

Correct your spelling

implement

CCTV cameras, make strict rules for any

rules

Fix the agreement mistake

rule

show examples

breakers, and give publically punishment that

influence

Change the verb form

influences

show examples

other local people because it will help to reduce

crime

action

For instance

, in Japan and South Korea, their governments implant cameras everywhere and take immediate

action

Therefore

, locals should

also

have defence

action

in any harsh conditions.

To sum up

, for the aforementioned reasons, officers of law conflict their duties with courage and honesty but people should take care of

their self

Correct pronoun usage

themself

themselves

show examples

in any contagious condition.

Submitted by alviusman18 on Tue Sep 10 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction is clearly related to the main topic. Mention that police presence can deter crime overall, not just on subways.

task achievement

Provide a more balanced perspective on the role of police and other measures. Clearly state both sides before concluding.

task achievement

Strengthen the support for your points with more specific and relevant examples. Avoid using vague terms such as 'harmful content.'

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical flow of your ideas. Ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next.

coherence cohesion

Clarify and expand on the examples provided. Explain how they specifically relate to your argument.

coherence cohesion

Good structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

task achievement

Addressed both the importance of police and other measures in combating crime.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

245 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Some believe that having more police on the streets is the best way to reduce and combat crime. To what extent do you agree?

Word Count

The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individuals and to the society, they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that anyone can create art, such as painting, poetry, music, etc. Others think that a person should have special abilities to create art. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will l earn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn’t sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.