The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Science
has to work primarily to enhance the quality of individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
lives
. I firmly agree with this
statement about the importance of people
's lives
in science
. This
essay will provide several reasons to support this
argument.
To begin
with, throughout history
Add a comma
history,
science
has made significant achievements; so to continue this
trend, science
has to focus more on bringing more into the lives
of people
. In the past, many diseases had been cured by the progression of science
. Therefore
, it is also
possible to find solutions for some unsolved health issues such
as cancer or diabetes. Currently, there are numerous of
research under development for providing solutions for Change preposition
apply
such
diseases that pose a threat to many individuals. Consequently
, scientific advancements are fundamental for finding diagnoses for several illnesses in the future.
Furthermore
, science
is universal and every people
involved Fix the agreement mistake
person
for
Change preposition
apply
the
benefits Correct article usage
apply
of
its positive outcomes as a human, so in order to make the world more practical and happier, substantial scientific is indeed necessary. Change preposition
from
This
is because science
removes vitally many struggles that result from knowing less about how the systems of nature work. So, with fewer challenges, humanity will accomplish a happier sense of feeling. For instance
, younger generations who have smartphones can access information and communicate practically, but this
situation was
really tough for older generations . Wrong verb form
is
Thus
, science
is essential to establish a happier lifestyle.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that science
should focus mainly on making live better the lives
of people
. This
is profound to find a resolution for many health issues in the future, as well as
, cancer. Through the advantageous contributions of science
to society, people
will be satisfied more which should be the crucial goal for science
.Submitted by Yasar Khan on
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grammar
Address the minor grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing to improve the overall clarity of your essay. This includes correcting phrases like "bringing more into the lives of people" to "bringing more benefits to people's lives."
examples
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, detailing specific scientific advancements or mentioning certain research studies would make your points more compelling.
depth
Try to elaborate on your main points a bit more to add depth to the essay. This will ensure your arguments are well-rounded and fully developed.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion. You effectively present your main argument at the beginning and summarize it at the end.
response
The essay addresses the given prompt thoroughly, discussing how science improves people's lives by solving health issues and making daily activities more practical and enjoyable.
cohesion
You use appropriate linking words to connect ideas which enhances the readability of the essay. Words like 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' indicate clear sequencing.