Over consuming sugar is unhealthy. Some people think that governments should take responsibility to control it. Others think that individuals should take responsibility of sugar intake. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays,
people
are taking sugar
over the daily limit in different forms like soda and cookies. A group of people
claim that taking care of public health should be the job of government
. Correct article usage
the government
However
, others think that people
can take care of themselves. This
essay will shed light on both the
views Correct article usage
apply
along with
my opinion.
One
the Correct your spelling
On
one
hand, high authorities have plethora
of ways to control Add an article
a plethora
the
Correct article usage
apply
sugar
consumption, they can put the limit to purchase anything or increase the price of that item which have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
sugar
over the limit. Government
can make some programmes or ads to motivate Correct article usage
The government
people
to take
less Verb problem
consume
sugar
. Undoubtedly, any habbit
starts in childhood, so Correct your spelling
habit
government
can Add an article
the government
do
camping in Correct your spelling
go
the
schools and ask schools to show any plays to Correct article usage
apply
childern
where they can see how bad is the Correct your spelling
children
over consumption
of Correct your spelling
overconsumption
sugar
for the body?
Change the punctuation
.
For example
: If government
make strict rules or Correct article usage
the government
put
Correct subject-verb agreement
puts
fine
for over buying Correct article usage
a fine
sugar
items then
for sure everyone will follow that. Hence
, people
will adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
the
healthy lifestyle.
Correct article usage
a
On the other hand
, baing
Correct your spelling
being
a
Change the article
an
individul
person everyone should take their health responsibility by their own. More than anyone else Correct your spelling
individual
one's
knows more about their body. If Unnecessary verb
one
one
's will
intake more Verb problem
apply
sugar
then
they may face obesity problems, skin
Correct word choice
and skin
issue
and they may have to take insulin to control their Fix the agreement mistake
issues
sugar
defficiency
. If Correct your spelling
deficiency
people
wants
to live healthy they should start watching more healthy lifestyle motivational videos so they can be on the healthy track.
In my opinion, Change the verb form
want
government
should take responsibility to make healthy Add an article
the government
opitions
rather than unhealthy. They should Correct your spelling
options
also
make the healthy things cheaper so everyone can afford that as well as
promote the orgainic
items. But more take care should be taken by themselves by watching Correct your spelling
organic
ingredients
list on any package before having that. If the Correct article usage
the ingredients
sugar
level is high they should delute
that or avoid that.BecauseCorrect your spelling
dilute
delete
,
a person can make a goal for his or her life whether they want to be fir or unhealthy.
Remove the comma
apply
To conclude
, government
should make some rules for a healthy life but Add an article
the government
one's have
to take responsibility Change the verb form
one has
by
Change preposition
for
themselves
.Correct pronoun usage
oneself
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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logically flows from one idea to the next. Work on making transitions smoother between paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This will help strengthen your argument and provide clarity to your ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are fully developed. Spend more time elaborating on each point to make your response more comprehensive and thorough.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument and provides a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, which helps in framing the essay well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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