The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years

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The pie charts

illustrates

Change the verb form

illustrate

show examples

the gadgets used by Canadians

within

Change preposition

between

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the age of 18 to 25 to watch

television

Use synonyms

in 2009 and 2019.

Overall

Linking Words

, there is a shift

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show examples

the

deivces

Correct your spelling

devices

device

used between the two years, from conventional

Use synonyms

flat-screen

Use synonyms

, for watching

television

Use synonyms

Tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

Tablets

show examples

flat-screen

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

and mobile

phone

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phones

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were more commonly used compared to conventional

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

laptops

show examples

and desktop

computer

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computers

show examples

in 2019, differing from 2009. In 2009,

television

Use synonyms

was mostly streamed through conventional

Use synonyms

, laptop and

dektop

Correct your spelling

desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

with 34%, 20% and 18% respectively.

However

Linking Words

, they became less common to use, evident in the declining trendline that each follows through. Conventional

Use synonyms

was used only by 4% of the age group

while

Linking Words

both laptop and desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

had 12% of it.

Tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

Tablets

show examples

flat-screen

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

and mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

became increasingly popular in 2019. Previously,

tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

show examples

and

flat-screen

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

were less commonly used

with

Change preposition

show examples

5% and 8% respectively,

however

Linking Words

, it increased

into

Change preposition

show examples

19% and 27% in 2019. Mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

, differing from both gadgets, had 15% in 2009 which later increased

into

Change preposition

show examples

26%, becoming the second most common electronic for watching

television

Use synonyms

Submitted by riani.the2 on Wed Sep 11 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words television, tv, flat-screen with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

182 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie charts
18 to 25 age group
devices
watch television
Canada
comparison
shift
preferences
mobile devices
traditional televisions
technological advancements
television viewing habits

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

Large companies use sports events to promote their products. Some people think it has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You are planning to take a vacation. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter: ﻿﻿describe the vacation spot you have chosen ﻿﻿explain how you plan to spend your time there ﻿﻿invite your friend to join you on your vacation.

Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view?

Band-9 Samples: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You are planning to take a vacation. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter: describe the vacation spot you have chosen explain how you plan to spend your time there invite your friend to join you on your vacation.