The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years

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The pie charts

illustrates

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illustrate

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the gadgets used by Canadians

within

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between

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the age of 18 to 25 to watch

television

in 2009 and 2019.

Overall

, there is a shift

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the

deivces

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devices

device

used between the two years, from conventional

flat-screen

, for watching

television

Tablet

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Tablets

show examples

flat-screen

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TVs

show examples

and mobile

phone

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phones

show examples

were more commonly used compared to conventional

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TVs

show examples

laptop

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laptops

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and desktop

computer

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computers

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in 2019, differing from 2009. In 2009,

television

was mostly streamed through conventional

, laptop and

dektop

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desktop

computer

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computers

show examples

with 34%, 20% and 18% respectively.

However

, they became less common to use, evident in the declining trendline that each follows through. Conventional

was used only by 4% of the age group

while

both laptop and desktop

computer

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computers

show examples

had 12% of it.

Tablet

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Tablets

show examples

flat-screen

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TVs

show examples

and mobile

phone

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phones

show examples

became increasingly popular in 2019. Previously,

tablet

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tablets

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and

flat-screen

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TVs

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were less commonly used

with

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5% and 8% respectively,

however

, it increased

into

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19% and 27% in 2019. Mobile

phone

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phones

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, differing from both gadgets, had 15% in 2009 which later increased

into

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26%, becoming the second most common electronic for watching

television

Submitted by riani.the2 on Wed Sep 11 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words television, tv, flat-screen with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

182 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie charts
18 to 25 age group
devices
watch television
Canada
comparison
shift
preferences
mobile devices
traditional televisions
technological advancements
television viewing habits

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Some people think that the media (newspapers) have the right to publish details of people’s private life, while others think it should be controlled. Discuss both views.

Many people today are worried about young children using video games. What problems might these games cause, for children and society as a whole? How could these problems be reduced?

The English language is used as a global language in most countries in the world. Do you think the advantages of using English as a global language outweigh the disadvantages?