The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

The pie charts

illustrates

Change the verb form

illustrate

show examples

the gadgets used by Canadians

within

Change preposition

between

show examples

the age of 18 to 25 to watch

television

Use synonyms

in 2009 and 2019.

Overall

Linking Words

, there is a shift

Change preposition

show examples

the

deivces

Correct your spelling

devices

device

used between the two years, from conventional

Use synonyms

flat-screen

Use synonyms

, for watching

television

Use synonyms

Tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

Tablets

show examples

flat-screen

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

and mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

were more commonly used compared to conventional

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

laptops

show examples

and desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

in 2019, differing from 2009. In 2009,

television

Use synonyms

was mostly streamed through conventional

Use synonyms

, laptop and

dektop

Correct your spelling

desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

with 34%, 20% and 18% respectively.

However

Linking Words

, they became less common to use, evident in the declining trendline that each follows through. Conventional

Use synonyms

was used only by 4% of the age group

while

Linking Words

both laptop and desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

had 12% of it.

Tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

Tablets

show examples

flat-screen

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

and mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

became increasingly popular in 2019. Previously,

tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

show examples

and

flat-screen

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

were less commonly used

with

Change preposition

show examples

5% and 8% respectively,

however

Linking Words

, it increased

into

Change preposition

show examples

19% and 27% in 2019. Mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

, differing from both gadgets, had 15% in 2009 which later increased

into

Change preposition

show examples

26%, becoming the second most common electronic for watching

television

Use synonyms

riani.the2

Sep 11, 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words television, tv, flat-screen with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

182 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie charts
18 to 25 age group
devices
watch television
Canada
comparison
shift
preferences
mobile devices
traditional televisions
technological advancements
television viewing habits

What to do next:

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

organizing a family clebration can often create problems, what are the causes and solutions ?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this changed occured? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that advertisement encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Other say that advertisement tells us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoints do you agvreee with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer