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Band 5.5

The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.
#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years
The pie charts
illustrates
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illustrate
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 the gadgets used by Canadians
within
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between
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 the age of 18 to 25 to watch
television
 in 2009 and 2019.
Overall
, there is a shift
of
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in
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 the
deivces
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devices
device
 used between the two years, from conventional
TV
 to
flat-screen
TV
, for watching
television
.
Tablet
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Tablets
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,
flat-screen
TV
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TVs
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 and mobile
phone
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phones
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 were more commonly used compared to conventional
TV
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TVs
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,
laptop
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laptops
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 and desktop
computer
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computers
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 in 2019, differing from 2009. In 2009,
television
 was mostly streamed through conventional
TV
, laptop and
dektop
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desktop
computer
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computers
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 with 34%, 20% and 18% respectively.
However
, they became less common to use, evident in the declining trendline that each follows through. Conventional
TV
 was used only by 4% of the age group
while
 both laptop and desktop
computer
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computers
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 had 12% of it.
Tablet
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Tablets
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,
flat-screen
TV
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TVs
show examples
 and mobile
phone
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phones
show examples
 became increasingly popular in 2019. Previously,
tablet
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tablets
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 and
flat-screen
TV
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TVs
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 were less commonly used
with
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at
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 5% and 8% respectively,
however
, it increased
into
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to
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 19% and 27% in 2019. Mobile
phone
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phones
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, differing from both gadgets, had 15% in 2009 which later increased
into
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to
show examples
 26%, becoming the second most common electronic for watching
television
.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words television, tv, flat-screen with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie charts
  • 18 to 25 age group
  • devices
  • watch television
  • Canada
  • comparison
  • shift
  • preferences
  • mobile devices
  • traditional televisions
  • technological advancements
  • television viewing habits
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