The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years

The pie charts

illustrates

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illustrate

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the gadgets used by Canadians

within

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between

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the age of 18 to 25 to watch

television

in 2009 and 2019.

Overall

, there is a shift

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show examples

the

deivces

Correct your spelling

devices

device

used between the two years, from conventional

flat-screen

, for watching

television

Tablet

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Tablets

show examples

flat-screen

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TVs

show examples

and mobile

phone

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phones

show examples

were more commonly used compared to conventional

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

laptop

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laptops

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and desktop

computer

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computers

show examples

in 2019, differing from 2009. In 2009,

television

was mostly streamed through conventional

, laptop and

dektop

Correct your spelling

desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

with 34%, 20% and 18% respectively.

However

, they became less common to use, evident in the declining trendline that each follows through. Conventional

was used only by 4% of the age group

while

both laptop and desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

had 12% of it.

Tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

Tablets

show examples

flat-screen

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

and mobile

phone

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phones

show examples

became increasingly popular in 2019. Previously,

tablet

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tablets

show examples

and

flat-screen

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

were less commonly used

with

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5% and 8% respectively,

however

, it increased

into

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show examples

19% and 27% in 2019. Mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

, differing from both gadgets, had 15% in 2009 which later increased

into

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show examples

26%, becoming the second most common electronic for watching

television

Submitted by riani.the2 on Wed Sep 11 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words television, tv, flat-screen with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

182 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie charts
18 to 25 age group
devices
watch television
Canada
comparison
shift
preferences
mobile devices
traditional televisions
technological advancements
television viewing habits

What to do next:

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

Nowadays, entertainers get paid more than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is this a negative or positive development?

Plagiarism in academics has become a pressing problem in many countries today. What are the causes of this problem? What are some possible solutions? What are the causes of this problem? What are some possible solutions?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+