The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The primary objective of research ought to be the improvement of human welfare. I fully agree with
this
assertion, and in the following post, I will explain my rationale. Science has a crucial role in promoting well-being;
thus
, we anticipate that the pursuit of
knowledge
will improve the quality of life. Scientific discoveries have resulted in substantial progress in medicine.
Consequently
, these discoveries have enhanced our healthcare by eradicating ailments.
Moreover
, the eradication of diseases enhances human longevity.
For example
, we eliminated smallpox years ago.
This
finding directly stems from researchers' efforts to aid individuals in attaining pleasure.
Consequently
,
knowledge
is vital in enhancing well-being.
Secondly
, transformative innovations significantly impact our lives. Innovations
such
as internet chat and automobiles function as remedies for human challenges. Scientists develop these breakthroughs to alter and enhance our world. Scientists first want to enhance their quality of life,
then
engaging
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
in the pursuit of
knowledge
and exploration to better human existence and innovate new technologies. Instagram, an application, transforms human communication.
Consequently
,
knowledge
reveals that the aim of science is to advance and improve the world. In conclusion, I fully agree that science is vital in individual existence.
Furthermore
, experts prioritize the development and growth of well-being.
As a result
, they commence aiding individuals by recognizing enhanced health care, innovative technologies, and other pertinent domains.
Submitted by mkhdermani on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss. This will provide better clarity to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more diverse and precise linking words to make your ideas flow more smoothly and enhance your essay's readability.
task achievement
Although your key points are well-supported, providing additional specific examples or elaborations would strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that sets up the topic and the writer's stance.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reaffirms the writer's position.
task achievement
The essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas that are relevant to the topic, demonstrating a good understanding of the issue.
task achievement
The use of examples like the eradication of smallpox and the impact of innovations such as Instagram adds depth to the essay, showing practical implications of scientific advancements.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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