Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People
bring
most of their day Verb problem
spend
in
Change preposition
at
work
; therefore
, the organisation where people
work
is very crucial. One
the one hand, they can learn different aspects. Correct your spelling
On
On the other hand
, worker
can feel safe in Fix the agreement mistake
workers
same
environment. Change the article
the same
While
many people
think that working in the
different Correct article usage
apply
companies
is better, others believe that employees can work
in same
place all their corporate life. I strongly believe that Add an article
the same
people
ought to change their job
.
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Majority
believe that working in different organisations is better; Add an article
The majority
A majority
thus
, people
can broad
their horizons and decide what they want. Working in different Replace the word
broaden
companies
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
opportunity
to see different working areas. Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
In other words
, employees can experience new company
cultures and different challanges
. Correct your spelling
challenges
This
way, they can learn better and broad
their horizons. To better exemplify, the research conducted by Oxford University Replace the word
broaden
show
that Change the verb form
shows
people
who work
different
Change preposition
in different
organization
have better know-how compared to workers who stay in Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
same
palace. Change the article
the same
In addition
, they can decide about their career easily when they work
in different companies
. Some companies
have strickt
cultures that everyone should wear formal clothes or should speak in a formal way, other Correct your spelling
strict
companies
have more flexible options. If people
work
in both environment
they can know what kind of place they feel comfortable. Fix the agreement mistake
environments
For instance
, one of my friends stared
to Correct your spelling
started
work
in casual
Add an article
a casual
company
where she expected to feel comfortable; however
, when she changed her job, she realized that she is
happier in Wrong verb form
was
the
formal Correct article usage
a
company
.
In contrast
, Correct article usage
the minority
minority
claim that working in the same organisation is better because they can feel comfortable and they do not have Fix the agreement mistake
minorities
challanges
; Correct your spelling
challenges
however
, they neglect that if emplooyes
want to develop themselves, they should not stay in their comfort zones. Correct your spelling
employees
employers
For example
, it is known that in many companies
, human resources promote employees who come from other company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
instead
of workers who have worked for years.
In conclusion, there are
a debate Change the verb form
is
whether
Change preposition
about whether
people
should work
variety of organizations or not. I believe that,
they should Remove the comma
apply
work
different companies
as much as they can. Only if they work
different
places, can they develop their skills.Change preposition
in different
Submitted by xxxx17
on
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task achievement
The essay could be improved by providing more detailed and specific examples to support the main points. More specific real-world examples can add weight to your arguments and make the essay more compelling.
task achievement
Try to avoid spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'broad' instead of 'broaden', 'there are a debate' instead of 'there is a debate', and 'strickt' instead of 'strict'. Proofreading your work before submission can help in catching these mistakes.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from smoother transitions between paragraphs and points. Some of the transitions feel abrupt and could be improved to make the essay flow more naturally.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively outline and summarize the main points of the essay, giving it a clear structure.
task achievement
You have successfully discussed both views on the topic and provided your own opinion, which fulfills the task requirements.
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